bad news tour sausages

• ABBREVIATIONS
• BIOGRAPHIES
• CALCULATORS
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• DEFINITIONS

The Comic Strip Presents...

Colin Grigson: [trying to sound cool] Uh, yeah, thanks, Mrs Grigson.

Colin's mum: No need to be so formal Colin. After all, I am your mother. [he cringes]

Helen: [voice over] Now all that Spider needs to do is convince his wife to let him join the group again.

Spider Web: Darling, would it be all right if I got back together with the band?

Spider's wife: Hmmm. [pause]

Spider's wife: All right

Vim Fuego: [surprised] That went rather well.

Carlos: I don't think I like this place.

Miguel: I don't think I like you.

Carlos: I don't think I heard that.

Miguel: I don't think I said it.

Carlos: I don't think... therefore I am.

Mr. Bastardos: [singing] Everybody happy? Oh la la la la la!

Miguel: [complaining to hotel manager] How come there's no soft toilet paper?

Mr. Bastardos: This is the "Hotel Bastardos"! You want the soft toilet paper? You go to the Hotel Gayboy!

Vim Fuego: I could play "Stairway To Heaven" when I was 12. Jimmy Page didn't actually write it until he was 22. I think that says quite a lot.

Vim Fuego: I mean, we'd be as rich as the Stones if only we'd sold as many records as them.

Den Dennis: You're lucky I don't knock your f***in' head in.

Sandy Johnson: There's no need to get violent, is there? And try not to swear so much, please, for the sake of this film...

Den Dennis: You can always put in a f***ing bleep, can't you?

Cashier: Two pounds and five pence, please, love.

Den Dennis: Two quid? Two quid for one bloody sausage?

Cashier: That's right, love. Two pounds and five pence.

Den Dennis: Right, where's the camera? [Holds sausage up to camera] Look. [to cashier] What's the name of this place? [Cashier backs away] Well, anyway, it's a rip-off. Look, they're charging two quid for one bloody sausage! So don't come here!

Cashier: It was clearly marked, love. Sausage, beans and chips, two pounds and five pence.

Den Dennis: Well, I haven't got two quid, have I? Can I have half a sausage for a quid?

Cashier: No you can't.

Mrs. Moss: Always put a dead badger on a head wound.

Mrs. Moss: I may be a loveable old cockney racist, but I do like my reggae music.

Pauline Sneak: I don't want to go on Wogan with a man who makes things - this isn't the seventies.

Carl Moss: Consider the ways of the grebe. They swim, they fly, but do they road test bicycles? Do they, shite.

Neighbour: Well?

Bean: Well?

Neighbour: What do you want?

Bean: The usual things... peace, happiness

Neighbour: and you got me off the lavatory to tell me this?

Bean: I didn't get you off the lavatory

Neighbour: Well somebody got me off the lavatory

Bean: Were you stuck?

Neighbour: What?

[Outside shot of George and Anne's tent; Timmy the dog is poking his head inside and wagging his tail]

George: Oh, Timmy! You're so licky!

Anne: You shouldn't let him do that, George, it's not hygienic.

George: But we like it! Don't we, Timmy?

[repeated line]

Julian, Dick, Anne, George: And lashings of ginger beer!

Dick: [pointing at the black station porter pushing their luggage on a trolley] I say, Ju! That man looks foreign!

George: Yes, I expect his name's 'Golliwog'!

Anne: [giggles] Yes, or Tarzan!

Julian: I think we'd better call the police just as soon as we get back to Kirrin Cottage.

Dick: Thanks, Anne. You really are a proper little housewife. Not like George, she still thinks she's a boy!

George: I think it's stupid being a girl. I wish I was a boy.

Dick: Really, George! It's about time you gave up thinking you're as good as a boy. I mean, Anne is just a girl, but she doesn't mind, do you, Anne?

George: Well, I absolutely do mind, actually!

Julian: Steady on, you two, the hols have only just started.

Anne: [putting her hand on his arm] You seem so grown up, Julian.

Dick: Oh, wizard!

Dick: [thanking the shopkeeper] You really are a brick!

Toby Thurlow: [looking at Anne's breasts] You're pretty well developed for a 10 year old.

[Julian and George find a rundown hut with rusting cars, bank safes and coffins lying around outside]

Julian: Look, that car's got no motor tax.

George: Maybe it belongs to an illegal immigrant.

Julian: I shouldn't be surprised.

George: What a strange, desolate place.

[Julian knocks on the door. A huge, hairy man wearing a tatty string vest and sunglasses steps out]

Dirty Dick: [Cockney accent] Yeah?

Julian: Ah, good evening. Uh, we're the Famous Five and we're camping down by the lake and we need some food. We'd like some free range eggs, you own home-baked bread, some of your own cured bacon and your own honey and some tomatoes from your garden would do splendidly.

Dirty Dick: Oh yeah? What do think this is, 'Arrods? Come on, piss off now! And don't speak to any coppers about me!

Julian: I don't think I really like the tone of your voice.

Fingers: [offscreen - also has a Cockney accent] 'Oo's that, then Dick? It's not the rozzers, I 'ope!

Dirty Dick: Nah, just a couple of smarmy brats!

Fingers: Tell 'em to scarper! There's some more dirty work to do.

George: Wait a minute! You must be Dirty Dick.

Dirty Dick: [nervous] No, no, my name's not Dirty Dick. It's er, it's er... Dirty Douglas!

Julian: Look here. There's something very queer going on. What exactly are you doing in there?

Dirty Dick: Oh, so you've tumbled our game, have you?

Fingers: What's that? What's that? Are we done for, Dirty?

Dirty Dick: Sorry, Fingers. I'm afraid we're bang to rights this time.

Fingers: Let's make a run for it, Dirty! You start the car while I grab the sparklers. We can still get away with it!

Dirty Dick: It's no good, Fingers! These kids are far too clever for us! We'll get 15 years each for this!

Fingers: Oh, no! Not another stretch in clink! I'm gonna take the easy way out!

[sound of a gunshot, then a thud]

George: Urgh! What a horrid, common voice he's got!

Dirty Dick: Oh well, I suppose I'd better go down to the police station and get nicked, then.

Anne: Oh, do wipe your feet, Dick, I've only just dusted there.

Dick: My word, Anne, you really are a proper little housewife! It must be awful being a girl and having to do all the work.

Anne: Well, yes, it would be nice to do some of the more exciting things that you boys do. Still, I don't mind being dominated. At least I'm quiet and pretty and not like poor George.

Julian: I say, where's young Toby got to?

Dick: Oh, he's been kidnapped.

Julian: Typical.

George: Serves him right for being nouveau riche!

Anne: Yes, and Jewish!

[they laugh]

Dirty Dick: Right. Let's run through our evil plan once more, Mr. Knuckles.

Fingers: Right you are, Mr. Lenin.

[inside the tent]

Dick: [whispering] Wake up, Ju. I can hear voices.

Julian: I can't hear anything.

Dick: Listen. There it is again.

Fingers: Blah, blah, blah, stolen plans, blah, blah, blah, missing scientist, blah, blah, blah.

Fingers: Blah, blah, blah, atom bomb, blah, blah, blah, Third World War, blah, blah, blah.

Fingers: Blah, blah, blah, Kneecap Hill, blah, blah, blah, top secret, blah, blah, blah, kidnapped boy, blah, blah, blah, everything ties up, blah, blah, blah.

Dick: Shh! Missing scientists? Kneecap Hill? Do me a favour? Big secret? What do you think it all means?

Julian: I'm not sure, Dick, but it all sounds very queer!

Anne: Gosh, Isn't it sad to think there are people in the world who are starving?

George: Yes I suppose it is, but if they didn't breed like rabbits there'd be more to go round

Anne: Yes that's true

Julian: Mind you, half of them die in childbirth so it must all even out in the end, I suppose.

Anne: Oh dear, I do wish there was something we could do to help

Dick: Poor old Anne, just like a girl to get het up on world problems on a lovely day like this

George: Well it doesn't worry me

Julian: I agree with Dick, Africa's miles away from here, come on let's enjoy the hols.

Ian Crisp: So, the bottom line is, none of us is qualified to actually make a decision.

Tim: What do you do?

Angie: I'm a typist?

Tim: Oh really? I thought you were a prostitute.

Angie: Charming.

Tim: How much do you charge? Take a cheque do you?

Tim: Tim stop it! Tim stop it! Tim stop it! Tim stop it! That's a typical Franny remark. Franny's a nymphomaniac too aren't you Franny?

Gordon: I've tried several of the TV companies... BASTARDs, it's too controversial that's the problem. I mean I could write that sh*t but what's the point in compromising?

Gordon: This is a good bit. This guy's you're age and he meets a sailor at the pub, he says "I bet she's good at it" nodding to the girl at the bar. The sailor "Not me mate, I'm queer, what do you see in girls? I don't know". It's supposed to be North Country I can't do the accent.

Milk Policeman: I was just thinking on the way up here, Gino, What's the boy done? He's robbed a post office, stolen a few cars and I thought what's that worth? About 5 years, maybe 3 years with good behavior... Out there Gino there are 50 armed bully boys offering certain death in the event of an injury to a fellow officer, so I thought what would I do in your position? Come down the station for a chat or die in a hail of bullets?

Gino: Yeah I saw what you did to that Mini you arsehole.

Milk Policeman: Then I thought you lucky bastard, what a celebrity, paper's queuing to buy your story , you know chequebook journalism? Film producers paying thousands for the film rights. I thought, that's crime for you, three years in the nick and you wind up a millionaire.

Vim Fuego: Yeah, "Warrior of Genghis Khan" is a political song.

Sally: Burning looting raping shooting, repeat.

Vim Fuego: Well I guess it's more poetical political

Sally: Isn't it just macho-male egotistical dominance along with orgiastic blood letting and violence against women?

Den Dennis: Yeah, that's the bits I like.

Colin Grigson: [the camera has seen him in his business suit] No. No, er... I'm not Colin, I'm... I'm... I'm Trevor. I'm Trevor, Colin's twin brother. If you want Colin, he'll probably be round at his pad... because he's frightfully... groovy.

Colin Grigson: Come along, then, lets do all the rumpty dumpty bismila business, then we can all get off home and get some kip. I've got to be up working at the bank at 9:30.

Vim Fuego: If you were playing a G, then I'm a queer!

Spider Web: We've always had our doubts about you, Vim.

Den Dennis: Yeah, well, maybe you are bloody queer!

Rachel: I have booked you, Bad News, to play the Monsters of Rock festival, Castle Donington.

Colin Grigson: Another heavy-metal day. No sleep until Castle Donington. Better have some vibes.

Vim Fuego: Donington, I mean it's just unbelievable, it's like the heavy-metal centre of the universe and Bad News are going to be there... this is big league, all we have to do now is blow Ozzy of the stage.

Lemmy: I thought Bad News hit a new high in altruistic, self-indulgent. bullshit. mollycoddled mother my dog instinct rock and roll. I thought it was the worst kind of pimply sh*t of the worst kind of city ghetto probably populated by winos, junkies and general all round f***-ups.

Mr. Jolly: Look, just because my second name is Jolly doesn't mean I have to be jolly all the f***ing time!

Mr. Jolly: And no-one knows you're here?

[Nicholas Parsons knocks on Mr Jolly's door]

Mr. Jolly: [calling through door] Who is it?

Nicholas Parsons: Nicholas Parsons.

Mr. Jolly: F*** off.

Nicholas Parsons: I said Nicholas Parsons.

Mr. Jolly: I know, f*** off. I don't care if you're Bob Monkhouse, f*** off.

Nicholas Parsons: Do you think I could use your telephone?

[Mr Jolly opens the door]

Mr. Jolly: Do I have to spell it out? F-U...

Nicholas Parsons: What is this game?

Dreamytime Escort: [drunkenly] Well, these are the rules.

Nicholas Parsons: Yes?

Dreamytime Escort: I go out of the room.

Dreamytime Escort: Then...

Dreamytime Escort: I come back in.

Dreamytime Escort: You got that?

Nicholas Parsons: Yes.

Dreamytime Escort: Right. I'll go first.

Dreamytime Escort, Dreamytime Escort: Escorts, bescorts - Come in if you're saucy!

Dreamytime Escort: Nicholas bloody Parsons!

Dreamytime Escort: Morning, Ralph, how's the fluffy toy business?

Mr. Jolly: Who the bloody hell are you, what fluffy...Oh, brilliant, yeah.

Dreamytime Escort: Well, that's Fattie's money out of the window.

Dreamytime Escort: And Fattie.

Dreamytime Escort: Well, it's his own fault. You shouldn't play "let's see who can fall out of the window the best" when you're drunk.

Dreamytime Escort: Not on the 18th floor, no.

Dreamytime Escort: All I'm saying is that one advertisement in the Times saying, "What are you doing this weekend, fancy getting drunk?" won't work. You've got to put the telephone number!

Dreamytime Escort: But we know the telephone number!

Dreamytime Escort: [answering phone] Dreamytime Escorts! Ah-ha...ah-ha...er, ah-ha...yeah, ah-ha...ah-ha-ha-ha-ha...ah-ha, ah-ha-haa...ah-ha...ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha...ah-ha...ah-haa-haa-haa...errr...okay!

Dreamytime Escort: What was that?

Dreamytime Escort: Wrong number.

[they sigh]

Dreamytime Escort: Only joking! It's an engagement for this morning, ten o'clock. A Mr Yakimoto.

Dreamytime Escort: Oh God. Another French bastard.

Dreamytime Escort: God bless Heimi Henderson.

Dreamytime Escort: Living above an off-license, what could be better?

Dreamytime Escort: Living in one?

Dreamytime Escort: You're right. We must become a lot more friendly with Heimi Henderson.

Dreamytime Escort: What's Mr Jolly got that we haven't got?

Dreamytime Escort: Our bloody Fairy Liquid.

Dreamytime Escort: One thousand, five hundred and seventy four gin and tonics please Monica.

Dreamytime Escort: LARGE ones.

Policeman: Are you drunk, sir?

Dreamytime Escort: Of course I am, I'm out of my bloody mind, I've just spent three thousand quid in there.

Dreamytime Escort: So, Nicholas. I suppose you spend most of your time opening supermarkets and heliports, these days.

Nicholas Parsons: Well, yes. You... You know how it is. As a matter of fact tomorrow I am opening an off-license.

Dreamytime Escort: [both Dreamytime Escorts stare at Nicholas] You're opening an off-license?

Nicholas Parsons: Yes, an off-license.

Dreamytime Escort: GOD! Imagine being so important you can open an off-license!

Dreamytime Escort: And we're with him right now, aren't we Nicky baby?

Dreamytime Escort: Yes yes yes, it's a fantastic house, Nicholas. Now. Have you got any dirty films?

Nicholas Parsons: No!

Dreamytime Escort: You BASTARD!

Nicholas Parsons: What exactly was your winning slogan?

Dreamytime Escort: Never, ever, bloody anything ever!

Nicholas Parsons: And that was your winning slogan?

Dreamytime Escort: That's the one, Nicky. I've lived my life by that rule.

Nicholas Parsons: "I would like to spend an evening with Nicholas Parsons because...never, ever, ever, bloody anything ever"?

Dreamytime Escort: You're pissed, aren't you, Nicholas?

Mr. Lovebucket: Now if you don't kill Nicholas Parsons by twelve o'clock, I'll kill you. Make it tidy.

[puts down a handgun]

Mr. Lovebucket: But if you can't do that, make it messy.

[one of Mr Jolly's henchmen puts down a chainsaw]

Henchman #2: Yeah. And if you can't make it messy...

[puts down a pair of hand grenades]

Henchman #2: ...make it noisy.

Henchman #3: And if you can't make it noisy...make it stupid.

[puts down a stuffed toy rabbit]

Dreamytime Escort: [cut to scene mid-conversation]... and she said "Well, I don't think you're a fishmonger. I think you've done a plop in the wrong lavatory."

Boy Madness: Concerning Squealer: One day, when I've got time, and I'm not busy, I'm gonna take all his skin off.

Little Sister: Little Sister To Ricki, both aged nearly 18: When we're old and 25 we can get married.

[Stan and Billy are holding Mary hostage. Her estranged Bank manger, husband Max has just come in to pick up a few things. He realises that Mary is not alone and that Stan and Billy are carrying loaded weapons]

Max: Mary, Mary. There's no necessity for s. I'm not a violent man. You know that. All I came for was a clean pair of socks and the wedding photograph and I'll be right out...

Mary: Shut up Max! These men want to rob your bank. They're going to hold me hostage while you go the bank and get the money.

Billy: There's six million in there. We want it all.

Max: [Looking at a clock's he's tucked away in his overcoat pocket] It's closed now.

Billy: Well open it.

Stan: yeah, you've the keys. We've seen you.

Max: Yeah, well I have but unfortunately the vault's on a time clock. Nobody can open it till tomorrow.

Billy: What we going to do Stan?

Max: I know. You can stay here tonight. I'll cook dinner.

Billy: What we having?

Max: What about Risotto?

Billy: Sounds poncy.

Stan: No Billy. I like Risotto. Do you wanna hand?

[Mary gives an annoyed look. She's clearly not amused by the odd situation]

Passenger: I'll have a bloody Mary.

Billy: We've only got bloody lager.

Needle: I'm a cold heartless space b*tch and I'm here to get pregnant, understand?

Ursula: So Pete

Peter: Umm Peter, I prefer Peter

Ursula: Yes I think I might prefer Peter... to all the other men here

Peter: Really? umm... what's your name?

Ursula: Ursula but you can call me Urs

Peter: Ursula right?

Ursula: So Peter

Ursula: Is your seed plenteous?

Susie: Yes Lucy?

Lucy Schoolchild: It's not ten past yet

Susie: I must say I'm finding it very hard to relate to you these days, why do you have to be so pernickety all the time?

Lucy Schoolchild: How do you spell pernickety miss?

Susie: F-U-C-K-O-double F, Okay?

Brian Epstein: Starting first of June, 12 weeks, all right? Top of the bill, Lena Martell; Bimbo the Performing Dog; Zelda the Hypnotist...

Michael White: What's he done?

Brian Epstein: What's he done? He's done 12 weeks at Blackpool, that's all he's done. Alright, no, listen... compere-cum-comic, he doubles up, you win at both ends, Johnny Clamp, right? You can't go wrong. And the music, we've got a lovely little combo... [consults scrap of paper] called The Beatles. Right? There you go. Joan of Arc haircuts and rock n' roll, the kids love it.

Michael White: What do they do?

Brian Epstein: What do they do? About fifteen minutes, they're good for a fill, they're excellent.

Michael White: Alright, I'll tell you what I'll do. Drop the hypnotist; I like Joan of Arc, I'll take the combo.

Eleanor: What's it like to be successful, Alan?

Alan: Success? Well, it's like going to an orgy in clean underpants.

Eleanor: Oh, wow!

Alan: It's Marlon Brando throwing up in your bathroom.

Eleanor: Oh, crazy!

Charles: [to Kurt] This is a copy of Alan's latest book. I think you're going to love it, Kurt. It's one hundred percent pure guaranteed filth, and I'm not just saying that.

Jeremy: [on telephone] Look, I don't care if you're happily married and you've got four kids and you've emigrated to Australia. Why can't we just forget all that and start again, for God's sake!

Charles: [to Alan]... and do you know what he did then? He took an ordinary drinking straw, and cut a little nick, and put the straw into the nick and blew the whole thing up to the size of a balloon. And then he said, "D'you want to play pat-ball?"

[Kix is working under the sink with a wrench]

Kix: See, the thing is Des, lead's very valuable 'cause it's heavy. You see, the heavier something is, the more valuable it is. The only exception to this rule is concrete.

[Jeremy is furiously painting the lawn with a large paintbrush]

Anne: Hey wow, that's crazy, what are you doing?

Jeremy: Well it's pretty obvious, isn't it?

Anne: Look, I know this may sound really crass, Jeremy, but I like you. You know, I like your style. I like your naked agression. I really like the way you don't sleep at night.

Jeremy: [even more angrily] Well, people think it's easy to be a rebel. Well, it bloody isn't! People just write stroppy plays about me. God it makes me so mad!

Desmond: Pretty free here, isn't it?

Charles: Well, I'm not paying.

[Desmond and Eleanor are in bed. Desmond is frantically licking Eleanor's cheek and Eleanor is reading a magazine. Alan sits on the end of the bed]

Alan: I don't think this sex thing is happening, Desmond. Eleanor looks bored.

Desmond: Is she?

Alan: Eleanor?

Eleanor: What?

Alan: When Desmond's doing that to you, does the earth move at all?

Eleanor: [sighs] No, only the bed.

Kix: How old are you?

Judy: Fourteen.

Kix: Got any younger sisters?

[Judy shakes her head]

Kix: Or pets?

Eleanor: [Enters on crutches] Alan, Alan, look, I did it. I've finally cut it off.

Alan: Where's the leg?

Eleanor: At the hospital.

Alan: But it's the leg we're interested in.

[first lines]

Verity: We're all very excited about your script, aren't we David?

Film Executive: Oh, we all love the script. All of us.

Verity: It's so wonderful. It's... It's quite fabulous.

Film Executive: Absolutely

Verity: It's brilliant, quite brilliant.

Bernard: Yes, well what initially attracted me to the idea is...

Verity: [to waiter] Bucks Fizz, please.

Bernard: ...is there's this unashamedly powerful, socialist epic. And as a director, the way Paul's captured the sheer size of the struggle...

Film Executive: [to waiter] Anything but a Coca Cola, thank you.

Bernard: ...millions of people unemployed. Families ripped apart, whole communities on tranquilisers.

[to waiter]

Bernard: Thank you. It's... It's... It's magnificent.

Verity: No, It's smashing stuff. I mean when I got to the end I felt as if I had been through the miners' strike myself.

Film Executive: Oh absolutely! I mean if we're going to revitalize the British film industry from an American perspective then 'Miners Strike' is undoubtedly the sort of film we should be doing this year.

Verity: Oh, I agree. It has terrific potential.

Film Executive: [pause] What about Al Pacino as Arthur Scargill?

Goldie: Can Pacino box?

Yob monster: [chants] Arse-nal /Arse-nal /Arse-nal.

Yob monster: Ya WHAT!

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Where to watch

Bad news tour.

1983 Directed by Sandy Johnson

A documentary crew films heavy metal band Bad News as they have trouble starting their van, pick up a schoolgirl groupie, and meet up with rock journalist Sally at a motorway service station where they argue about the cost of sausage and chips.

Adrian Edmondson Rik Mayall Nigel Planer Peter Richardson Jennifer Saunders Dawn French Serena Evans Bert Parnaby Neville Smith Judy Hawkins Charu Bala Chokshi Mark Cooper Sandy Johnson Oliver Stapleton

Director Director

Sandy Johnson

Writer Writer

Adrian Edmondson

Cinematography Cinematography

Oliver Stapleton

Composers Composers

Simon Brint Adrian Edmondson

Comic Strip Production

Alternative Title

The Comic Strip Presents... Bad News Tour

Music Comedy

Releases by Date

24 jan 1983, releases by country.

30 mins   More at IMDb TMDb Report this page

Popular reviews

Review by 📀 Cammmalot 📀 ★★★½

Cinematic Time Capsule 1983 Marathon - Film #13

”It’s a statement on …🤔…. …I’ll tell ya later.”

This mocumentary follows an incompetent heavy-ish metal band as they embark on their "tour" (apparently only one gig)… and are documented by an almost equally inept documentary film crew.

Thankfully, the gig is considered to be a thing that actually happened, and was even witnessed by four folks and an adorable terrier.

”Ya, didn’t let the dog in free, did ya?”

This wonderful bit of idiocy was created by the lads who’d later achieve infamy as The Young Ones.

Oh, and by pure coincidence, this chaotic heavy metal mockumentary just happened to be in production at the exact same time as Spinal Tap……

Review by Mark Cunliffe 🇵🇸 ★★★★

I'm sorry but this pisses all over Spinal Tap, and it came before it.

Review by Michael501 📺 ★★★½ 1

1983 In Review - May #8

A documentary crew films heavy metal band Bad News as they have trouble starting their van, pick up a schoolgirl groupie, and meet up with rock journalist Sally at a motorway service station.

Hilarious antics as The Comic Strip do their version of Spinal Tap. I believe they were both in production at the same time, although this was released a year earlier.  Ade Edmonton writes and stars as Vim Fuego the leader of a terribly bad heavy metal band which sees member Rik Mayall, Nigel Planer and Peter Richardson argue and bicker about everything. Essential viewing for fans of Rik and Ade.

Review by Richard Auty ★★★★★ 2

Not a movie but a 30 minute episode of the 80s comedy series Comic Strip Presents, but as it's on here I thought I'd log it.

I think this and its even better sequel More Bad News taken together makes a superior film to This is Spinal Tap (and I give Spinal Tap 5 stars). I cannot begin to express my love for Bad News. It's so quotable and despite it being probably more than two decades since I last watched it, I could recall almost every line of dialogue.

PS I stand with Den Dennis re the sausage fiasco.

Review by Will Kruk ★★★★

"I mean, I could play stairway to heaven when I was 12 Jimmy Page didn't write it till he was 22. I think that says a lot". This movie is so much better than Spinal Tap.

Review by gibson8 ★★★★ 1

Has more musical integrity than Tap because it eschews the punning lyrics.

Review by Hope_Slattery ★★★★

“Oh I get it he’s ‘Vim’ and your ‘Mum’s dead.’”

Review by loureviews ★★★½

I L<3ve Musicals!

It seems apt to give this a spin on the sixth anniversary of Rik Mayall's death: here's the first in the mockumentary duo of films about the greatest metal band of them all, Bad News.

With Vim (Adrian Edmondson), Den (Nigel Planer), Colin (Mayall) and Spider (Peter Richardson) rocking the long hair and the terraced house vibes, this is Spinal Tap before that was even thought of. It's a testosterone heavy depiction of life on the road, and the Comic Strip's first really good film.

The songs were co-written with the late Simon Brint, who later teamed up with Rowland Rivron as Raw Sex .

Review by MargotDeLarge ★★★½

Rik Mayall AND Dawn French. That’s really all that needs to be said.

Review by robyn ★★★

am i in love with jennifer saunders? maybe

Review by Jules ★★★★½

The best possible version of Spinal Tap, made a couple of years before Spinal Tap... Those thieving bastards.

Review by Daniel Heaton ★★★½

Another solid entry from 'The Comic Strip' AND it predates 'Spinal Tap' by a few months, its a rockumentary following an up and coming heavy metal band 'Bad News' and all the mishaps that can befall a not *quite* famous yet rock band.

Great variety of gags, consistent humour, not AS massive a hit rate as 'Tap' but still very very enjoyable, and definitely worth checking out...Oh! and it was written by Ade Edmondson too...which was really quite impressive to see!

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Bad News Tour (1983)

• Release Date: 1983-01-24
• User Rating: 8.6 / 10 from 5 ratings
• Runtime: 0h 30min
• Production Company: Comic Strip Production
• Production Country: United Kingdom
• Director: Sandy Johnson

A documentary crew films heavy metal band Bad News as they have trouble starting their van, pick up a schoolgirl groupie, and meet up with rock journalist Sally at a motorway service station where they argue about the cost of sausage and chips.

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Adrian Edmondson

Nigel Planer

Peter Richardson

Jennifer Saunders

Dawn French

Serena Evans

Bert parnaby.

Neville Smith

Judy hawkins.

Charu Bala Chokshi

Mark Cooper

Sandy Johnson

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Bad News Tour (1983)

• Release Date: 1983-01-24
• User Rating: 8.6 / 10 from 5 ratings
• Runtime: 0h 30min
• Production Company: Comic Strip Production
• Production Country: United Kingdom
• Director: Sandy Johnson

A documentary crew films heavy metal band Bad News as they have trouble starting their van, pick up a schoolgirl groupie, and meet up with rock journalist Sally at a motorway service station where they argue about the cost of sausage and chips.

Watch Bad News Tour Online

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Bad News Tour Photos

Adrian Edmondson

Nigel Planer

Peter Richardson

Jennifer Saunders

Dawn French

Serena Evans

Bert parnaby.

Neville Smith

Judy hawkins.

Charu Bala Chokshi

Mark Cooper

Sandy Johnson

Oliver stapleton, related movies.

C.S.A.: The Confederate States of America

Two Straight Girls at a Queer Fest

Return of the Jackalope

Slayer: War at the Warfield

The Point Pleasant Tapes

Hypnotizing Power: The Story of Master of Puppets

Ghost Puncher

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• Cast & crew
• User reviews

Bad News Tour

The comic strip presents.

• Vim Fuego : I could play "Stairway To Heaven" when I was 12. Jimmy Page didn't actually write it until he was 22. I think that says quite a lot.
• Vim Fuego : I mean, we'd be as rich as the Stones if only we'd sold as many records as them.
• Den Dennis : You're lucky I don't knock your fuckin' head in.
• Sandy Johnson : There's no need to get violent, is there? And try not to swear so much, please, for the sake of this film...
• Den Dennis : You can always put in a fucking bleep, can't you?
• Cashier : Two pounds and five pence, please, love.
• Den Dennis : Two quid? Two quid for one bloody sausage?
• Cashier : That's right, love. Two pounds and five pence.
• Den Dennis : Right, where's the camera?
• [ Holds sausage up to camera ]
• Den Dennis : Look.
• [ to cashier ]
• Den Dennis : What's the name of this place?
• [ Cashier backs away ]
• Den Dennis : Well, anyway, it's a rip-off. Look, they're charging two quid for one bloody sausage! So don't come here!
• Cashier : It was clearly marked, love. Sausage, beans and chips, two pounds and five pence.
• Den Dennis : Well, I haven't got two quid, have I? Can I have half a sausage for a quid?
• Cashier : No you can't.

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Bad News: “Rik Mayall couldn’t play bass, but that just made it funnier…”

As legendary British spoof-metal heroes Bad News release their first track in three decades, Axogram (as Almost Bad News), comedy legend Nigel Planer tells us about this sort-of return, creating one of British TV’s funniest icons, and getting bottled at Donington.

In 1983, Bad News made their first appearance on British TV. Following the budding NWOBHM quartet as they travelled to a gig in Grantham, singer/guitarist Alan 'Vim Fuego' Metcalfe, guitarist Den Dennis, bassist Colin Grigson and drummer Spyder Webb became sensations overnight.

Sort of. A full year before the release of This Is Spinal Tap, Bad News Tour perfected the art of the rockumentary, as an episode of Channel 4 comedy caravan Comic Strip Presents. Starring British comedy legends Nigel Planer (as dopey but lovable guitarist Den), Adrian Edmondson (egotistical frontman-cum-painter-and-decorator Vim), Rik Mayall (secret-posh-lad bassist Colin) and Peter Richardson (Spyder, the only drummer his bandmates knew who could vomit the perfect amount into a pint glass), as well as Dawn French and Jennifer Saunders, it was somewhere between Iron Maiden and The Young Ones.

The episode fully captured the realities of life on the road for a struggling British metal band – broken vans, bad service station food, arguments over nothing, and quickly became a cult hit for its realism that celebrated the unslick crapness of reality. In 1986, they were invited to play Monsters Of Rock at Donington, alongside Ozzy , Motörhead , Scorpions and Def Leppard . The latter's guitarist Phil Collen would, in their second documentary, 1988's More Bad News, talk to a camera backstage to deadpan: "I'm Phil Collen from Def Leppard, and I think they're shit."

But this was all part of it. Even more than Spinal Tap, Bad news were – and remain – relatable to anyone who's ever attempted the apparently impossible task of moving four musicians somewhere in a van at the same time, or get your guitarist to play the right chord in the studio. Queen guitarist Brian May loved them so much he produced their self-titled 1986 debut album. AFI named their Answer That And Stay Fashionable debut album in tribute.

Now, Den Dennis returns under the banner Almost Bad News, with a new song, Axogram. As Nigel Planer explains, it was an idea seeded by the enduring love for the show and the band. And an old track that didn't make it onto the first album it may be, but it's still heavy metal, heavy metal, heavy metal – have we said it enough?!?!

Where did Axogram come from? “Well the song was actually written at the time, 1985/6, something like that, but it never made it onto the album. It was a bit more complicated than most Bad News songs. I wrote the song, and it’s the only one that wasn't collectively written. We learned it and played it to the producer, who went, ‘I don't think so,’ because it's quite a difficult one to play. And the producer was Brian May, so we had to do what we were told!

“It's a bit more elaborate than the Bad News style, the way it's been put together by the producer, Luke Smith, with Ben Hill [who also runs Bad News fan page Warriors Of Genghis Khan]. I think they've even used some bootleg stuff on it from previous Bad News. So there's quite a lot of history in it. But because of the singing style, the fact that it's tight and keeps changing, it wasn't quite a Bad News song at the time. And I've always had it in my mind to do it, because it was never recorded before.”

When did you get the idea to pick it up again? “Well, I bumped into a Ben, who runs a Bad News fan page. We got to know each other, and then I saw that he does quite a lot of music himself. He's very good at copying styles, he's done some very funny ones, like a hippy band, a kind of Donna Summer band. We were at the Slapstick Festival Of Comedy doing a Bad News event, myself and Peter Richardson [AKA Bad News drummer Spyder Webb], and Ben came along to see it. Somebody asked, ‘What do you think was the best Bad News song?’ and Peter said, ‘It's the one we never recorded.’ So I challenged them. I said, ‘Well go on, go and work on that.’ I did a stupid little acoustic guitar thing into my phone, wrote it down with the chords and just sent it to them, and they came back with all of that. Really excellent. They've even made it sound crap in the right places. So it's proper Bad News.”

“In lockdown, I had a bit of space, and I remembered all the songs I've ever written and started to record them. They're on my Bandcamp channel. I got my guitar out, and found I could remember the lyrics and chords. Which was amazing. And I wrote them down this time.”

Where did you do it? “A mad studio they've got in the middle of nowhere. Literally, like, a concrete hut somewhere in the middle of a field. Proper old-school studio. That was really good fun, to let rip. I did a load of music during lockdown on Bandcamp , all little psychedelic folk songs and stuff. You can't get loud in your bedroom, though, but out in the middle of nowhere you can let rip and do some screaming.”

How was it getting back into the mind of Den Dennis after so long? “It was good. I really enjoyed it. It sort of comes naturally. I suppose I spent, not long, a day or two, maybe, in the back of my mind thinking Den thoughts before the recording. It doesn’t just turn up out of the blue after 40 years, but it's not a big bit of work. You just have to be like, ‘What would Den think about this? What would Den do here?’”

Bad News have become beloved among musicians and metal fans, like Spinal Tap, because it’s all still really relatable to anyone involved in music – the arguments, the problems, the stupid decisions… “There's a difference between us and Spinal Tap, though. They're playing an English band, but they're playing that very rare thing, which is some very successful people – Spinal Tap are a big, successful international band. And Americans, I don't think they could handle Bad News – people who are just crap . All the stuff in there, backstabbing each other, and being up against everything that the UK will throw at you, like the van, the motorway, the sausages, or lack of sausages, all that frustration, it's a different humour. And I think English audiences can see themselves in that more. Spinal Tap might be a fantasy about what it would be like if you were a rock star. But Bad News is more like what it's really like down here as a hopeless band. I'm sure Americans can be crap too, but they wouldn't want to make a film about it because they don't like losers, whereas we love them.”

Going back, how did Bad News come about in the first place? “I was in a double act with Peter. He lived in a van and he had this drum kit, and I play guitar, and we had a rock theatre show, from which Neil and lots of other characters came, before The Young Ones. We were trying to be like Frank Zappa’s 200 Motels – half entertainment theatre, half rock band. We actually did some tours – we supported AC/DC at one gig, and we supported Motörhead! We played lots of characters and we had the experiences of being crap and on tour, so that was Den and Spyder accounted for.

“Adrian [Edmondson, Vim Fuego] had been trying to make it in bands all his life, and can actually play pretty well. I can actually sing – or, I could then – but the way I sing wasn't appropriate. It's better having Adrian's voice, so that’s how he became singer. As for Rik Mayall [Colin Grigson], he wasn’t a musician, he was a comedian. So we told him how to move his finger up and down one string on the bass, but that was just perfect for the character. It made him funnier.

“I can't remember whose idea it was to do it as Bad News. We were making the Comic Strip films, so we put in ideas. And the idea was, ‘Let's do a band’. One thing we found funny was, there was a recording called The Troggs Tape, you know the band who did Wild Thing? It’s them in the studio with the tape running while they argue, and it’s brilliant. It's very Bad News. Like, the drummer can’t play the song – ‘But you already did it once this evening!’ Their complete inability to make the studio work for them is hilarious.”

What I always liked about Den was that he had a certain innocence to him. Vim was the ego-frontman, Colin was a poser who was at odds with Vim, Spyder was cool but crazy… “…And then poor old Den’s just trying to play the guitar! But musically, that's kind of how it worked live. We needed Rik being funny. Peter's drum fills are not very heavy metal, he's all over the place. And so, rhythm guitar is basically trying to keep the whole machine going. There's no fancy guitar work from me, because Peter and Rik, who should have been the rhythm section, they were just all over the place. But that's so good for the character as well. It's down to Den to actually keep the structure. He's like a workhorse.”

You played at Donington in 1986 with Ozzy, Motörhead, Def Leppard and Scorpions. The bit where you’re walking up the ramp to the stage, you all look petrified, like, ‘Oh shit, we’re actually doing this…’ “Yeah, that bit where the camera follows us, then goes to the crowd. That still puts my bollocks up into my stomach. It was very, very scary, actually. You can see on our faces just realising, ‘This is suicide’. And they were throwing things. The guy who introduced us, Tommy Vance, he went onstage wearing an American football helmet. Lemmy was telling us, ‘You're insane, letting them throw things at you. You have to stop them cos you could get a coin in your head!’ It was seriously frightening, and then the equipment didn't work for the first 20 minutes. Some comedian thought they would add to the fun. But I'm glad we did it. It was good fun. What a treat.”

The montage with the other bands is amazing as well, where they’re all saying how terrible you were… “Yeah that was fun. The guitarist from Scorpions [Rudi Schenker] just there with his German accent: ‘Bad News? Scheisse! ’ And Lemmy’s long bit about it, where he’s being really articulate and cutting us down, is just amazing.”

Brian May produced the first Bad News album. What was that like? “He was brilliant. He and I spent time together years later working on the original production of We Will Rock You. The reason we've got the second album was out of the contractual obligation, but the reason we had the material was because he just left the mics on throughout the recording period, and we stayed in character. So all of the stuff on the album between the songs when we're arguing with each other, that's just us fucking about. And the second album is entirely us fucking about. It must have cost a fortune, but Brian was so generous with his time and with the whole thing, because he just loved the whole concept of it. We're really grateful for that because, what an insane thing for him to do! It was six weeks in one of the most expensive studios in London where there was, like, Tears For Fears next door, Pet Shop Boys in another room…”

How do you feel about the legacy of Bad News, that all these years later people still really like it and they’re held quite dear by people? “I'm delighted that people are enjoying it again. I suppose there's people like Ben, who've kept the flag flying and keep it going. But I couldn't think of a reason why [people like it so much]. I see it sort of like Dad's Army. I just love the characters, the jokes, that whole setup. And you just want to return to that world because it makes you laugh and you somehow warm to the hopelessness of those people. Bad News is a funny analogy to make, being a heavy metal band and all that, but it's kind of like Dad's Army, you just like being in that world with those people because they resonate with you. And it's very English, I think, as well.”

A lmost Bad News' new single Axogram is out now.

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Tour de France in doubt for Jonas Vingegaard and Jay Vine after horrific crash during the Itzulia Basque Country race in Spain

Sport Tour de France in doubt for Jonas Vingegaard and Jay Vine after horrific crash during the Itzulia Basque Country race in Spain

Jonas Vingegaard has been taken to hospital along with leading Australian rider Jay Vine after some of the world's best cyclists suffered injuries in a mass crash at high speed in the Itzulia Basque Country race in Spain. 

The reigning double Tour de France champion Vingegaard was reported to have suffered a broken collarbone and several broken ribs but was "conscious" after the alarming crash that threatens his hopes of a famous treble in July.

Vine, last year's Tour Down Under winner, also ended up crashing heavily in a concrete ditch and was taken away by ambulance.

The 28-year-old was later diagnosed with a fractured cervical vertebra and two fractures in his thoracic spine, with no other major injuries or head trauma. 

It was a disastrous day for another modern-day great too, with Remco Evenepoel, the 2022 world champion, managing to walk away from the crash despite suffering what his Soudal-Quick Step later confirmed was a fracture to his right collarbone and to his right shoulder blade.

He will need surgery on Friday in Belgium.

Giro d'Italia champ Primoz Roglic, who had been the overnight leader, also abandoned the race after giving a thumbs-up to cameras from the team car to show he was OK.

In all, 12 riders near the front of the peloton were involved in the crash, which happened with about 35 kilometres left of the fourth stage between Etxarri Aranatz and Legutio, in northern Spain.

The leaders were making a sweeping right-hand turn on a slight but swift descent, with some sliding off, sending others off the road into the ditch.

Denmark's Vingegaard, who has been in spectacular form and was favourite for the 2024 Tour de France, had to be carried to the ambulance in a neck brace and needed oxygen after treatment at roadside by doctors.

The race was then neutralised until the finish, with only the six riders who had been at the front being allowed to sprint for the finish to try to win the stage, with victory eventually going to the underwhelmed South African Louis Meintjes, who admitted it was a hollow triumph.

"It's a sad day. I wish all the guys who crashed all the best and wish them a fast recovery," Mattias Skjelmose, who took the overall race lead from Roglic, said at the finish.

"My mind is with the guys who crashed, and right now I am not thinking about the leader's jersey."

The crash, which featured three of the world's most outstanding riders in Vingegaard, Evenepoel and Roglic, was also a huge blow for 25-year-old Vine, who has graduated from riding a turbo trainer in his living room to being a peloton star.

He had begun the week-long race on Monday with an exceptional time trial that had left him second behind only Roglic at that stage and revealed afterwards that the Itzulia had been only a late addition to his schedule.

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Jennifer Lopez Quietly Rebrands Tour as Greatest Hits Show Amid Weak Ticket Sales

By Steven J. Horowitz

Steven J. Horowitz

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After canceling seven dates of her first North American tour in five years amid weak ticket sales, Jennifer Lopez has renamed it to apparently broaden its scope, changing it from “This Is Me… Now” to “This Is Me… Live | The Greatest Hits.”

Requests for comment from Lopez’s reps and Live Nation, which is producing the tour, went unanswered. Live Nation’s site hasn’t been updated to reflect the tour’s name change, but it does have conflicting titles on Lopez’s listings, including “This Is Me… Live” and “This Is Me… Now The Tour.” While some venues hosting Lopez’s performances haven’t changed the original listings on their respective sites, there are a few instances confirming the rebrand, for shows at Palm Springs’ Acrisure Arena and Inglewood’s The Forum . A sponsored Facebook ad from Lopez also features a graphic with the new title.

Upon release in February, “This Is Me… Now” struggled to find an audience, selling 14,000 copies in its first week. While the album did debut atop the Billboard Top Album Sales Chart due to 11,000 in physical sales, it arrived at No. 38 on the Billboard 200, becoming the second of her nine studio albums to bow outside the top 10.

The album was one part of a self-financed $20 million multimedia project including the tour and the two films, “This Is Me…Now: A Love Story,” and a documentary, “The Greatest Love Story Never Told.” Variety described the endeavor as an examination of “Lopez’s life as a serial romantic” following her romantic rekindling with actor Ben Affleck, who she married in 2022 after nearly two decades apart.

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Just a Few of the Biggest Concert Tours of 2024, from Olivia Rodrigo to Bad Bunny

Posted: April 6, 2024 | Last updated: April 6, 2024

Listening to your favorite musician at home is fun, but there's nothing quite like the experience of singing along with them, and tons of more fans, live. And as luck would have it, 2024 is shaping up to be a massive year for some of the world's top musical acts, so chances are your favorite performer might be stopping at a city near you soon.

Ahead, we rounded up some of the biggest concert tours of 2024, ranging from Taylor Swift's mega-popular Eras Tour to Drake and J. Cole's exciting It's All A Blur Tour - Big as the What?—set to kick off this winter. You can also expect tour dates from classic icons like Stevie Nicks, Billy Joel, Bruce Springsteen, and more.

1) Taylor Swift

Undoubtedly one of the biggest concert tours ever, Taylor Swift's Eras Tour will continue right through 2024. The international leg of the tour kicked off in Japan, where she played four shows in Tokyo. She'll also stop in Melbourne, Singapore, Paris, Madrid, London, Milan, and more before returning to the States to play in the fall.

There's nothing like seeing T. Swift IRL, but don't fret if you're unable to nab tickets—the Eras Tour movie is now available to stream from the comfort of your home.

2) Olivia Rodrigo

This is not a drill—"Drivers License" singer Olivia Rodrigo will be hitting the road on tour starting at the end of February. The Guts World Tour runs from February through mid-August and has dates in Nashville, Toronto, Chicago, and New York City, among others. Even cooler? Rodrigo will have a stacked list of special guests—like PinkPantheress, Remi Wolf, The Breeders, and Chappell Roan—with her.

3) Red Hot Chili Peppers

Did you hear the good news? The Red Hot Chili Peppers have extended their global tour through summer 2024. The buzzy stadium tour, which kicked off in June 2022, will now run until July 2024 and bring the California-based band to places like Los Angeles, Tampa, Toronto, and Salt Lake City.

4) Bad Bunny

It's fitting that "Monaco" rapper Bad Bunny titled his tour Most Wanted —it's slated to be one of the year's hottest tours. Planned to help promote his latest studio album, Nadie Sabe Lo Que Va a Pasar Mañana , Most Wanted will kick off in Salt Lake City on February 21 and run through May 26.

5) Billy Joel

If you haven't yet seen Billy Joel perform live, there's still time! The Piano Man has added more tour dates to his schedule, stopping in cities like Tampa, New York, Denver, and St. Louis this year. Even more exciting? He'll share the stage with fellow iconic performers Sting and Stevie Nicks for some of these dates.

Mitski recently announced that she's expanding her North American tour dates , and we couldn't be more excited. The months-long tour, which supports her 2023 studio album The Land Is Inhospitable and So Are We, has a long list of stops, including Miami Beach, Philadelphia, Brooklyn, and Paris.

There's nothing quite like a Madonna concert, that's for sure. The singer's Celebration Tour , which started last October, continues straight through the spring with dates in Seattle, San Francisco, Mexico City, and more. Besides her eye-catching sets, chart-topping songs, and impressive choreography, concertgoers also get a glimpse of the performer's fantastic costumes, which include looks from Versace and Jean Paul Gaultier.

8) Bleachers

The New Jersey-founded rock band, which is fronted by Jack Antonoff—known for producing albums for top acts like Taylor Swift, Lorde, and Lana Del Rey—not only has announced a new album but a new tour , too. The tour will start in the UK in March, ending fittingly in the band's home state of New Jersey in mid-June. Check out their newly released music video for "Tiny Moves" if you need a Bleachers fix in the meantime.

9) Nicki Minaj

Nicki fans rejoice: the rapper and singer might be coming to a city near you soon as part of her Pink Friday 2 World Tour. The massive tour will include performances in Brooklyn, Oakland, and Baltimore, with stops at Dreamville Festival and Rolling Loud California along the way.

10) Blink 182

Live out all of your nineties and early aughts pop-punk dreams with one of Blink 182's One More Time Tour dates. The tour, which supports the band's ninth studio album, One More Time..., will bring the trio to cities all over the globe, including Sydney, Santiago, Portland, and Boston. The tour's supporting act is Pierce the Veil, which is also worth checking out.

11) Stevie Nicks

The oh-so-magical Stevie Nicks continues her touring streak with a bunch of 2024 concert dates . Set to begin in Atlantic City, NJ on February 10, Nicks will visit a dozen cities throughout the U.S. this year, such as New Orleans, Omaha, and Chicago. "Let's keep this party going in 2024," the singer-songwriter posted on her Instagram in September to announce the newly added tour dates.

12) The 1975

The 1975 is showing no signs of slowing down. The British band, famous for hits like "Somebody Else" and "Robbers," has extended their 2023 tour through 2024. Titled Still...At Their Very Best , the 22-date tour will open in Glasgow on February 8 and conclude in Amsterdam on March 24.

13) Drake and J. Cole

Rap greats Drake and J. Cole come together for the It's All a Blur Tour – Big As the What? which is guaranteed to be a good time. Drake, fresh off his 2023 It's All a Blur tour with 21 Savage, is set to hit dozens of cities starting in February, many of which J. Cole will also be in tow for. Scoop up tickets ASAP, as Drake's shows are known to sell out.

14) Janet Jackson

Superstar Janet Jackson is also extending her 2023 tour, Together Again , into 2024 with dates in Anaheim, Austin, New Orleans, and Hartford. Even cooler? Jackson's supporting act is the 2000s southern rap legend Nelly.

15) Rolling Stones

If you've ever dreamed of seeing the Rolling Stones perform live in person, now's your chance. The iconic rockers, who released their studio album Hackney Diamonds this past fall, are returning on the road for a 16-date tour with shows throughout the United States and Canada. Concertgoers can expect a mix of new tunes and Stones classics.

16) Bruce Springsteen

Famous for countless listenable hits like "Born to Run" and "Glory Days," Bruce Springsteen is set to embark on a massive world tour this year with his band, The E Street Band. The much-anticipated tour will take the Boss and his crew to cities such as Phoenix, San Diego, Dublin, and Madrid, from March through November.

17) John Mayer

Be sure to catch John Mayer's solo tour this year, which will bring the guitarist and crooner to cities throughout Europe. This leg, an extension of his popular 2023 solo tour, will kick off in Stockholm on March 13 and finish in Dublin on March 29.

18) Shania Twain

Okay, this one is technically a residency , but we're excited nonetheless. Shania Twain, most known for her incredible outfits (her hooded leopard print look, anyone?) and hits like "Man! I Feel Like a Woman!" is setting up shop in Vegas starting May 10. Twain's residency will take place at the Bakkt Theater at Planet Hollywood on and off throughout December 2024.

All good things must come to an end. The Eagles, known for "Hotel California" and other amazing rock songs, began their final concert tour this winter. It launched in Phoenix on January 20, with March 16 as its last date in the United States. Eagles fans won't want to miss this one.

20) Alanis Morisette: The Triple Moon Tour

Alanis Morisette joins forces with Joan Jett and the Blackhearts for their 2024 Triple Moon Tour , which has dates in North America and Canada. This tour is a great one to catch this summer, as it's slated to run from June through August.

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Tour de France champ Vingegaard has collapsed lung after crash

Danish rider may not be able to defend his title.

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Two-time defending Tour de France champion Jonas Vingegaard remained hospitalized in Spain a day after he broke his collarbone and several ribs in a bad crash with other top riders during the Tour of Basque Country.

The Danish rider's Visma-Lease A Bike team said Friday that further tests revealed the Vingegaard also suffered a collapsed lung and a pulmonary contusion. The team said that cycling's leading star was "stable and had a good night" but remains in a hospital in the northern Spanish city of Vitoria.

The accident comes less than three months before the start of the Tour on June 29 when Vingegaard is scheduled to to again face off against top rival Tadej Pogačar. That highly anticipated rematch is now in doubt.

• 'It's been a long journey': Vingegaard wins Tour de France for 2nd consecutive year
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Vingegaard was hardly moving as he was put in an ambulance wearing an oxygen mask and neck brace after the crash occurred on Thursday with less than 30 kilometres left in the race's fourth stage.

The pileup also took out cycling stars Primož Roglič and Remco Evenepoel.

Evenepoel, considered one of the favourites for the road race at the Paris Games, broke a collarbone and his right shoulder blade and was set to undergo surgery when he returns to Belgium on Friday, his Soudal Quick-Step team said.

The accident happened as riders were making what looked to be a conventional right-hand turn going downhill when one rider's front tire appeared to slip out and send other cyclists off the road. There were some large rocks and trees in the area, though it wasn't clear if any of the riders hit them. There was also a concrete drainage ditch place on the edge of the curve.

Roglič, a three-time Spanish Vuelta winner, emerged with just scratches but he did have to abandon the race he was leading.

Vingegaard was trying to defend the tittle he won last year at the six-day Tour of Basque Country.

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Vingegaard has collapsed lung after crash in Basque Country race. Tour de France defense is in doubt

Two-time defending Tour de France champion Jonas Vingegaard remained hospitalized in Spain on Friday, one day after he broke his collarbone and several ribs in a bad crash with other top riders during the Tour of the Basque Country

BARCELONA, Spain -- Two-time defending Tour de France champion Jonas Vingegaard remained hospitalized in Spain on Friday, one day after he broke his collarbone and several ribs in a bad crash with other top riders during a chaotic Tour of the Basque Country.

The Danish rider’s Visma-Lease A Bike team said further tests revealed that Vingegaard also sustained a collapsed lung and a pulmonary contusion during the crash in Thursday's fourth stage. The team said cycling’s leading rider was “stable and had a good night” but remains in a hospital in the northern Spanish city of Vitoria.

The accident came less than three months before the start of the Tour de France on June 29, when Vingegaard was scheduled to again face off against his leading rival, Tadej Pogačar. The highly anticipated rematch of former champions is now in doubt.

There was more carnage at the weeklong Tour of the Basque Country on Friday, when Mikel Landa and Soudal Quick-Step teammate Gil Gelders crashed in the fifth stage. Landa, the runner-up in the race in Spain a year ago, was put into a neck brace and taken away on a stretcher.

"(Landa) was taken to the local hospital where X-rays revealed that he has suffered a fracture to his clavicle. He will now undergo further investigation to determine the best path for his recovery,” Soudal Quick-Step said later Friday.

Romain Gregoire of Groupama-FDJ won Friday's stage in a reduced sprint. Mattias Skjelmose of Lidl-Trek remained in the overall lead heading into the final stage Saturday, which features a hard climb that could shake up the general classification.

Vingegaard was hardly moving Thursday when he was put into an ambulance wearing an oxygen mask and neck brace after the harrowing crash with less than 30 kilometers (18.6 miles) remaining in the stage. The pileup also took out Primoz Roglič and Remco Evenepoel, along with several other riders, many of whom needed treatment in hospitals.

Evenepoel broke a collarbone and his right shoulder blade and was set to undergo surgery when he returns to Belgium on Friday, Soudal Quick-Step said. Evenepoel said in a post on social media that “obviously my plans for the short future will change but I hope and think that my long-term goals will not change.”

The 24-year-old Evenepoel, a former road race world champion and the reigning time trial champ, is scheduled to make his Tour debut this summer before he participates in both of those events at the Paris Olympics.

Roglic, a three-time Spanish Vuelta winner, emerged with just scratches, according to his BORA-Hansgrohe team, but the reigning Olympic time-trial champion nevertheless had to abandon the race he was leading.

The accident happened Thursday as riders were making what appeared to be a conventional right-hand, downhill turn. One rider's front tire appeared to slip out and send other cyclists off the road. There were some large rocks and trees in the area, though it wasn’t clear if any of the riders hit them, along with a concrete drainage ditch on the edge of the curve.

Race director Julián Eraso said the accident was a surprise since the organizers considered the curve to be “easy” to handle.

“You never know where an accident can occur,” Eraso told Spanish radio Cadena SER. “This year the roads were good, wide, easy roads. That curve to the right was easy … (and) there was an indication a few meters before to let riders prepare for it.”

AP Sports Writer Dave Skretta contributed to this report.

AP sports: https://apnews.com/sports

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Vingegaard breaks collarbone and several ribs in crash at race in Spain. Evenepoel also injured

Jonas Hansen Vingegaard - Team Visma - Lease A Bike, the winner of the race, celebrates on the podium with the Trident Trophy after the 59th Tirreno - Adriatico 2024, Stage from San Benedetto del Tronto to San Benedetto del Tronto, Sunday, March 10, 2024 in San Benedetto del Tronto, Tuscany, Italy. (FGianmattia D’Alberto/LaPresse via AP)

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MADRID (AP) — Two-time defending Tour de France champion Jonas Vingegaard broke his collarbone and several ribs Thursday in a crash at the Tour of Basque Country that also caught up Olympic gold medalist Primoz Roglič and Remco Evenepoel, who also sustained a broken collarbone.

Evenepoel, one of the favorites for the road race at the Paris Games, also has a broken right shoulder blade and was scheduled return to Belgium on Friday for surgery on his collarbone, his team said.

Vingegaard was hardly moving as he was put in an ambulance wearing an oxygen mask and neck brace after the crash occurred with less than 30 kilometers (18.6 miles) left in the fourth stage.

“Examinations at the hospital have revealed that he has a broken collarbone and several broken ribs. He remains in hospital as a precaution,” Team Visma said of the 27-year-old Danish rider, who won the race in Spain a year ago.

The accident happened as riders were making a right-hand turn, and one rider’s front tire appeared to slip out and send other riders off the road. There were some large rocks in the area, though it wasn’t clear if any of the riders hit them.

Video and images of the crash showed riders strewn alongside the road, including in a concrete drainage ditch.

Vingegaard won both races he entered this season at Tirreno-Adriatico and the Gran Camino in Spain. He is considered the heavy favorite to triumph again at the Tour, which ends with a time trial in Nice this year because of the Paris Olympics.

“Over the radio we heard Jonas was involved in a big crash,” Visma sports director Addy Engels told Eurosport. “We immediately saw that it didn’t look good when we arrived to him. Fortunately, he was conscious. Jonas is now being examined at the hospital. We are waiting for any updates now.”

Evenepoel, who won stages at the Giro d’Italia and Spanish Vuelta last year, hit the pavement and landed in a wooded area during Thursday’s crash, though he appeared to be walking away while clutching his chest.

Evenepoel’s team, Soudal Quick-Step, later confirmed that the Belgian “suffered a fracture to his right collarbone and his right scapula.” The team said he will undergo surgery “and further examination” at the hospital in Belgium.

Roglič was leading the overall race despite a heavy fall on Wednesday. He was one of the riders that ended up in the drainage ditch, and he was later spotted walking to a Bora-Hansgrohe team car and driving away with a team staff.

The injuries to Roglič came one day after his teammate, Lennard Kämna, was hit by an oncoming vehicle and sustained serious injuries while on a training ride in Tenerife. Kämna was expected to spend several days in the intensive care unit.

Other riders taken to the hospital Thursday included Jay Vine of UAE Team Emirates and Steff Cras of TotalEnergies, which reported its rider was conscious and “transferred to hospital to carry out additional examinations.” EF Education-EasyPost said two of its riders, Alexander Cepeda and Sean Quinn were involved, and Quinn was forced to abandon the race and his “medical evaluation was ongoing.” Others involved in the crash included Quinten Hermans and Natnael Tesfatsion.

The race was neutralized until the finish line, and the restart had to be delayed until doctors could rejoin the race to accompany the remaining riders. Six riders who had been in a breakaway stopped to wait in the next town, and they were allowed to sprint for the stage win but neither their times nor any bonuses would count for the general classification.

Louis Meintjes of Intermarché Wanty wound up winning the stage. Mattias Skjelmose took the overall race lead.

“It’s a sad day. I wish all the guys who crashed all the best and wish them a fast recovery,” Skjelmose said at the finish. “My mind is with the guys who crashed, and right now I am not thinking about the leader’s jersey.”

AP sports: https://apnews.com/sports