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Past Tense of Visit: Mastering English Grammar

By: Author ESLBUZZ

Posted on Last updated: September 27, 2023

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In this article, we will explore how to form the past tense of visit, common mistakes to avoid, and provide you with practice exercises to help you master the past tense of visit. By the end of this article, you will have a solid understanding of the past tense form of ‘visit’ and be able to use it confidently in your writing and speaking.

Key Takeaways

• The past tense of ‘visit’ is ‘visited’.
• To form the past tense of ‘visit’, add ‘-ed’ to the base form of the verb.
• Practice exercises can help you master the past tense of ‘visit’.

Understanding Past Tense

As an English learner, understanding the concept of past tense is crucial in communicating effectively in English. The past tense is used to describe actions or events that have already happened. In this section, we will explore the different forms of past tense and how to use them correctly.

Regular Past Tense Verbs

Most regular verbs in English form the past tense by adding -ed to the base form of the verb. For example, the past tense of “visit” is “visited”. Here are some more examples:

• Walk – walked
• Talk – talked
• Play – played

Irregular Past Tense Verbs

Irregular verbs in English have a different form in the past tense. These verbs do not follow the standard -ed rule. Here are some common irregular verbs and their past tense forms:

Using the Past Tense in Sentences

To use the past tense in a sentence, we need to know the subject, verb, and object. For example, “I visited my grandparents last weekend.” In this sentence, “I” is the subject, “visited” is the verb in the past tense, and “my grandparents” is the object.

Practice Exercises

Here are some exercises to help you practice using the past tense:

• Fill in the blanks with the correct form of the verb in parentheses:
• Yesterday, I (eat) a delicious pizza for dinner.
• She (buy) a new car last week.
• Rewrite the following sentences in the past tense:
• I am going to the store. (I went to the store.)
• He plays soccer every weekend. (He played soccer every weekend.)

The Verb Visit

If you’re learning English, you’ll need to know how to use the verb “visit” in the past tense. In this section, we’ll cover the basics of how to use “visited” in English grammar.

Past Tense of Visit

The past tense of “visit” is “visited.” This means that if you want to talk about a visit that happened in the past, you would use “visited” in your sentence. For example:

• I visited my grandparents last weekend.
• She visited the museum yesterday.

Using “Visited” in Sentences

To use “visited” in a sentence, you’ll need to know how to conjugate the verb correctly. Here are some examples:

• I visited my friend’s house yesterday.
• He visited his parents over the weekend.
• We visited the beach last summer.

Here are some exercises to help you practice using “visited” in sentences:

• Fill in the blank: I __________ my sister last night. (visited)
• Rewrite the sentence in the past tense: She visits her grandparents every Sunday. (She visited her grandparents every Sunday.)
• Make a sentence using “visited” and “museum.” (She visited the museum last week.)

If you’re learning English grammar, it’s important to understand how to form the past tense of verbs. In this section, we’ll explore how to form the past tense of the verb ‘visit’.

The past tense form of ‘visit’ is ‘visited’. To form the past tense, simply add ‘-ed’ to the base form of the verb because it’s a regular verb. Here are some examples:

• Present tense: I visit my grandmother every week.
• Past tense: I visited my grandmother last week.

It’s important to note that ‘visited’ is also the past participle form of ‘visit’. The past participle is used in the present perfect and past perfect tenses. Here are some examples:

• Present perfect: I have visited my grandmother many times.
• Past perfect: I had visited my grandmother before she passed away.

Here are some more examples of regular verbs in past tense:

It’s important to practice using the past tense of ‘visit’ in context. Here are some example sentences:

• I visited my friend in the hospital yesterday.
• She visited her grandparents over the weekend.
• We visited the museum last month.
• They had visited the city before, so they knew their way around.

By understanding how to form the past tense of ‘visit’, you’ll be able to communicate more effectively in English. Keep practicing and you’ll get the hang of it in no time!

Examples of ‘Visited’ in Sentences

When learning the past tense of the verb ‘visit’, it is important to understand how it is used in sentences. Here are some examples of the past tense of ‘visit’, which is ‘visited’:

• “I visited my grandparents last weekend.”
• “She visited the museum yesterday.”
• “They visited the park every day during their vacation.”
• “He visited the doctor twice last month.”

As you can see, the past tense of ‘visit’ is used to describe a completed action in the past. It is often used with a time reference to indicate when the visit occurred.

In addition to using ‘visited’ to describe a single action in the past, it can also be used to describe a repeated action in the past. Here are some examples:

• “I visited my grandparents every summer when I was a child.”
• “She visited the museum regularly when she lived in the city.”
• “They visited the park every weekend during the summer.”

When using ‘visited’ to describe a repeated action in the past, it is often used with an adverb of frequency, such as ‘every’, ‘regularly’, or ‘often’.

It is also important to note that ‘visited’ can be used in various tenses, such as the present perfect and past perfect. Here are some examples:

• “I have visited Paris twice.”
• “She had visited the museum before, so she knew what to expect.”
• “They will have visited all the major tourist attractions by the end of their trip.”

In conclusion, understanding the past tense of ‘visit’ is essential for effective communication in English. By using ‘visited’ in various tenses and contexts, you can accurately describe past actions and experiences.

Common Mistakes and How to Avoid Them

Learning the past tense of the verb “visit” is important for anyone who wants to speak English fluently. However, it can be tricky to use it correctly, especially for non-native speakers. Here are some common mistakes and tips to avoid them:

Mistake 1: Using the wrong form of the verb

Incorrect: I visitted my grandparents last weekend. Correct: I visited my grandparents last weekend.

The past tense of “visit” is “visited”, not “visitted”. Remember to remove the extra “t” at the end.

Mistake 2: Using the present tense instead of the past tense

Incorrect: I visit my friend yesterday. Correct: I visited my friend yesterday.

Using the present tense instead of the past tense is a common mistake. Remember to use the past tense when talking about an action that happened in the past.

Tips to Avoid Mistakes

• Practice, practice, practice! The more you use the past tense of “visit”, the easier it will become.
• Pay attention to the context of the sentence. Is it talking about something that happened in the past? If so, use the past tense.
• Use grammar checkers and dictionaries to help you avoid mistakes.
• Try to memorize irregular verbs and their past tense forms, including “visit” (“visited”).

By avoiding these common mistakes and practicing using the past tense of “visit”, you will become more confident and accurate in your English language skills.

Past Tense of Visit: Practice Exercises

Learning the past tense of verbs is essential for effective communication in English. In this section, we will provide some practice exercises to help you master the past tense of the verb ‘visit.’

Affirmative Sentences

Fill in the blank with the correct past tense form of ‘visit’:

• I _______ my grandparents last weekend. (visited)
• She _______ her friend in the hospital yesterday. (visited)
• They _______ the museum last month. (visited)

Questions and Negatives

To form questions and negatives in the past tense, we use the auxiliary verb ‘did’ and the base form of the main verb. Here are some practice exercises to help you form questions and negatives in the past tense of ‘visit’:

Rewrite the following sentences into questions and negatives:

She visited her sister yesterday.

• Did she visit her sister yesterday?
• She did not visit her sister yesterday.

They went to visit their grandparents last weekend.

• Did they go to visit their grandparents last weekend?
• They did not go to visit their grandparents last weekend.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is the past tense of visit?

The past tense of visit is visited.

How do you change visit to simple past tense?

To change visit to the simple past tense, you simply add -ed to the end of the verb. Therefore, the simple past tense of visit is visited.

What are some examples of simple past tense of the verb visit?

Here are some examples of simple past tense using the verb visit:

• She visited her friend in the hospital yesterday.
• They visited the museum on their trip.

What is the rule for forming the past tense of regular verbs?

The rule for forming the past tense of regular verbs is to add -ed to the base form of the verb. For example, the base form of visit is visit, so the past tense is visited.

Can you give me some irregular past tense verbs?

Yes, here are some irregular past tense verbs:

• go – went
• eat – ate
• see – saw
• do – did
• have – had

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Here are some examples of using the past tense of visit in a sentence:

• She visited her family over the weekend.
• They visited the beach last summer.

Remember to always use the correct form of the verb to match the tense of the sentence.

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Common Errors/Mistakes in English

Visited vs Have Visited vs Had Visited: How to Use Them Correctly

7 years ago 67.3K Views

Common Errors in English Sentences : Using correct tense an important part of every business communication as it reflects your personality, especially when you’re communicating with someone who is well-versed in English language.

Are you a non-native English speaker, confused between “visited vs. have visited”? This post will help you understand the grammar rules once and for all.

Using correct tense is an important part of every business communication as it reflects your personality, especially when you’re communicating with someone who is well-versed in the English language.

It’s quite common to find many non-native English users confusing “past tense” with “present perfect tense”.

So, let’s take a look at some examples below:

❎ I have visited the doctor this past week. ( wrong )

❎ Have you met your mother yesterday? ( wrong )

So, what do you think is wrong with these examples?

Explanation : This is a pretty common error in Asian countries where English communication is largely affected by their mother tongue. Many non-English languages carry grammar rules which can be very different from the grammar rules we follow in the English language.

In the English language, when you describe an event that occurs in the past, i.e. yesterday or last week, you essentially use the “past simple” tense of the verb.

In the examples above, “yesterday” and “this past week” are both “adverbs”, meaning they define the nature of the verb that precedes them.

In the first example, the speaker talks about an event (visiting the doctor) with information about its occurrence (this past week).

Please, note that the “timing of the event” (or time adverb) is of utmost importance here, which decides the “tense form” the verb must take in the sentence.

Here, “this past week” refers to an event that clearly occurred in the past. Therefore, the event itself (visiting the doctor) must take “the past simple tense”.

Hence, it would be right to express yourself in the following way.

I visited the doctor this past week.

Similarly, the correct version of the second example would be:

Did you visit your mother yesterday?

To make it even clearer for you, here’s how you should break the sentences to understand which tense they should take.

I + visited + the doctor + this past week

Visited = the “past simple tense” of the verb “visit”.

This past week = the adverb denoting “timing of the event”.

Know Your Adverbs

It’s important to know your adverbs well enough in order to form correct sentences, using the appropriate tense.

Let’s consider a few examples with different adverbs.

Now, Currently, Right Now, Today

You can use either present continuous or present perfect tense with these verbs. However, you can never use “past simple” with these.

For example, the following examples would sound plain stupid:

❎ He was unemployed currently. ( incorrect )

❎ He’s unemployed currently. ( correct )

❎ Was he sick right now? ( incorrect )

❎ Is he sick right now? ( correct )

❎ I came here today. ( incorrect )

❎ I’ve come here today. ( correct )

However, there are some “adverbs” that can take both “past tense” as well as “present perfect tense” depending on the context.

Here are Some Examples:

✅ Example #1: I have purchased a CD player recently. (present perfect tense)

✅ Example #2: I purchased that CD player recently. (past simple tense)

Oxford Dictionary defines “recently” as an adverb denoting “at a recent time” and “not long ago”.

Explanation:

In Example #1, we are using a perfect tense in order to name the action as the source of the present state. Whereas, in Example #2, we are using a past tense since the action is one of a sequence of past actions, a narrative.

Please, keep in mind the present perfect is a present tense, which makes a statement about the situation at the time of speaking.

However, the following example would be incorrect.

❎ I have purchased that CD recently.

This is because when you are talking about purchasing “that CD”, you have presumably purchased it in the past. Therefore, you should rather say, “I purchased that CD recently”.

Visited vs Had Visited

Believe it or not, many non-native English users find it hard to differentiate between past simple tense and past perfect tense. They often wonder if the two could be used interchangeably.

The truth is both these tenses offer different contexts to the event. Take a look at the following examples:

• Example #1 : I visited my doctor yesterday.
• Example #2 : I had visited my doctor yesterday.

Which of the above examples is correct?

Answer : The first one.

We use past tense when the time is specified, e.g. yesterday.

We use past perfect tense only when we refer to another event (a concurrent event) in the past. In other words, it must carry some context – “what happened after you visited the doctor yesterday?”

For example:

I had watched television yesterday when it was time to go to bed.✅ Activity in the past = “it was time”.

✅ Activity before the past = “had watched television”.

I had watched television yesterday, by the time my parents came back.

✅ Activity in the past = “my parents came back”.

In short, without any context to “the other activity” that was done after watching television, using “had watched” would be incorrect.

Therefore, if you only mean to mention “watching television” in the past, simply say, “I watched television yesterday”.

I hope this helps. Please, let me know if you have any questions.

Source : Stack Exchange and Quora

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Reader Interactions

24 reactions.

Simple and much informative

What is the difference in was visited and has-been visited /had been visited

Susanta Sahoo

Was visited (Something or someone has been visited). For example, The school was visited by the Minister of Education yesterday. While in the hospital, I was visited by many of my school mates.

Omg, this article completely provides such helpful information. I didn’t even have any idea about such grammatical errors. That’s totally detailed explanations. Thank you very much for giving us such useful information

Beimnet Teshome

thank you so helpful

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Her Take On Life

My Sister Never Visits Me: Why Is That? And What Can I Do? (PLACEHOLDER)

Few bonds in life are as enduring and profound as those between siblings. They’re our confidants, our partners in mischief, and our pillars of support. But what happens when the thread that once bound you together seems to fray? When you find yourself wondering, “My sister never visits me,” it can stir a mix of emotions and questions.

In this article, we’ll gently explore the reasons behind this scenario and offer practical ways to strengthen your connection with your sister.

“My Sister Never Visits Me”: Possible Reasons Why

Understanding why your sister rarely visits is essential to finding effective solutions. Perhaps your sister is trying to avoid you . Or she may have legitimate reasons for not being able to visit you.

Let’s explore in-depth the conceivable reasons behind your sister’s infrequent visits:

#1. Distance

Physical distance can be a significant obstacle. If your sister lives far away, visiting might involve considerable effort and time. Long journeys might not always be feasible due to work commitments, financial constraints, or other responsibilities. So it’s not that she is uncaring or uninterested in visiting you but rather she deeply wishes to visit but struggles with the logistics.

For instance, if she lives in a different city or even country, the costs associated with travel, such as flights, accommodation, and time off work, can be prohibitive. Her desire to visit you might be genuine, but practical challenges could be holding her back.

#2. Busy Schedule

In our modern, fast-paced world, busy schedules have become the norm. Juggling work, social commitments, personal interests, and familial responsibilities can leave very little room for leisure activities, including visits. Your sister’s packed calendar might make it challenging for her to find time to visit you.

Consider the demands of her daily life. If she has a demanding job, social obligations, and various personal interests, she might genuinely struggle to find a free moment for a visit. Her absence might not reflect her lack of interest but rather the sheer busyness of her life.

#3. Family Commitments

Family commitments are another aspect that can contribute to infrequent visits. If your sister has a family of her own, such as a spouse and children, her attention and energy might be primarily focused on them. The demands of parenthood and spousal responsibilities can limit her availability for visits.

Think about the responsibilities she faces at home. Balancing the needs of her partner, children, and household can be incredibly demanding. While she may want to visit, her family responsibilities could be her top priority.

#4. Financial Constraints

Financial considerations play a significant role in travel decisions. Long-distance travel can be expensive, involving costs such as transportation, accommodation, and meals. If your sister is facing financial constraints, the expenses associated with visiting might pose a barrier.

Consider her financial situation. If she’s dealing with debts, unexpected expenses, or other financial challenges, the idea of embarking on a costly trip might be daunting. Her absence may be a result of financial limitations rather than a lack of desire to visit.

#5. Health Issues

Health challenges can have a profound impact on one’s ability to travel and visit loved ones. Whether your sister or someone in her immediate family is dealing with health issues, the need for care and attention could make it difficult for her to be physically present.

Reflect on the health status of your sister and her family members. Chronic illnesses, disabilities, or even temporary health setbacks can require significant time and effort for care giving. Her inability to visit may stem from these pressing health concerns.

#6. Personal Priorities

Individuals have their unique set of priorities at different life stages. Your sister might be focusing on her career, personal growth, or other life goals that require her time and energy. While she cares for you, her current focus might be elsewhere.

Consider her life goals and ambitions. She might be pursuing a challenging career, furthering her education, or engaging in personal development activities. These pursuits can consume a significant portion of her time and attention, leaving less room for visits.

#7. Communication Breakdown

Effective communication is the cornerstone of any relationship. If there has been a communication breakdown between you and your sister, it might lead to misunderstandings or assumptions and one of the reasons why your sister wants to avoid you. Clarifying any misconceptions can pave the way for more regular visits.

Think about your recent interactions. Have there been instances where misunderstandings or disagreements created a rift between you two? Addressing these issues can help rebuild trust and encourage more frequent visits.

#8. Personal Differences

Differences in personality, interests, or values can impact how siblings interact. If you and your sister have contrasting worldviews or preferences, it might create a sense of hesitation in her to visit, fearing potential conflicts.

Reflect on the dynamics of your relationship. Are there significant differences in your personalities or beliefs that have led to tension during previous visits? Understanding these differences can help you both navigate them more effectively.

#9. Time Constraints

Time is a precious commodity, and it’s easy for it to slip away unnoticed. Your sister might genuinely want to visit but struggle to carve out time from her busy schedule. Finding a suitable time for both of you can be a challenge.

Consider the demands on her time. She may be balancing a multitude of responsibilities, including work, social commitments, and personal interests. Finding a mutually convenient time for visits can be tricky, but it’s essential to prioritize quality time together.

#10. Social Circumstances

Social dynamics and commitments can play a role in visitation frequency. If your sister has a different circle of friends, social activities, or commitments, she might have limited availability for visits outside of her existing network.

Think about her social life. If she has a tight-knit group of friends or a busy social calendar, it could be absorbing much of her available time. Her absence from your visits might be due to these preexisting social commitments.

#11. Work Responsibilities

Occupational demands can be all-consuming. If your sister’s job is particularly demanding or requires frequent travel, it might leave her with limited time and energy for personal visits.

Consider the nature of her job. Is it highly demanding, involving long hours or frequent business trips? Her work responsibilities might be a significant factor in her infrequent visits.

#12. Personal Comfort

Some individuals place a high value on their personal space and solitude. If your sister is more comfortable in her own environment, she might find the idea of visiting others less appealing.

Think about her preferences. If she values her personal space and enjoys her own company, she might find the prospect of leaving her familiar surroundings less enticing. Her absence may be a reflection of her need for solitude.

#13. Introversion

Introverted individuals recharge by spending time alone, and social interactions can sometimes be draining. If your sister identifies as introverted, she might need more time alone and less frequent social interactions.

Consider her personality traits. Introverted individuals often require more downtime to recharge their energy. Her need for solitude might lead to fewer visits, even though she cares for you deeply.

#14. Past Experiences

Past experiences can leave a lasting impact on one’s behavior. If there have been conflicts or uncomfortable situations during previous visits, your sister might be hesitant to repeat those experiences.

Reflect on past interactions. Have there been instances where visits led to misunderstandings or disagreements? Addressing these past experiences can help alleviate any apprehensions about future visits.

#15. Dependent Obligations

Caring for dependents, such as aging parents or other family members, can limit one’s ability to travel. Your sister might have caregiving responsibilities that keep her close to home.

Consider her family dynamics. If she’s responsible for the care of aging parents or other family members, her time and energy might be devoted to those care giving duties. Her absence could be due to her commitment to these responsibilities.

#16. Misunderstandings

Misunderstandings or unresolved issues can create emotional distance between siblings. If there’s a history of misunderstandings, it might be affecting your sister’s willingness to visit.

Think about any unresolved conflicts. Are there lingering issues or misunderstandings that have never been fully addressed? Taking steps to resolve these matters can help rebuild trust and encourage more frequent visits.

#17. Stress or Anxiety

Mental health struggles can impact various aspects of life, including relationships. If your sister is dealing with stress, anxiety, or other mental health challenges, it might influence her ability to maintain regular visits.

Consider her mental well-being. If she’s facing stress, anxiety, or other emotional challenges, these issues can affect her motivation and energy levels. Supporting her in seeking help or coping strategies may be crucial.

#18. Personal Preferences

Personal preferences can significantly influence behavior. Your sister might have her own ways of maintaining connections that don’t involve frequent visits, such as virtual communication or written correspondence.

Respect her communication style. If she prefers phone calls, texts, or written letters as her primary mode of staying in touch, it might be her way of connecting. Understanding and respecting her preferred methods can help bridge the gap.

#19. Lack of Interest

While it’s difficult to entertain the thought, a lack of interest can also be a factor. If your sister doesn’t prioritize the relationship or doesn’t share the same enthusiasm for visits, it might lead to infrequent encounters.

Consider her level of engagement. Has she shown disinterest in spending time together or failed to express enthusiasm about visits? Addressing this issue openly and honestly can lead to a more transparent understanding of her feelings.

#20. Unforeseen Circumstances

Life is unpredictable, and unforeseen circumstances can disrupt plans. Unexpected emergencies, sudden changes in personal situations, or other unforeseen events can impact visitation frequency.

Think about any recent life events. Has your sister faced unexpected challenges or emergencies that required her immediate attention and prevented her from visiting? Recognizing these unforeseen circumstances can help you empathize with her situation.

What You Can Do If Your Sister Never Visits You

When faced with the challenge of a distant sister, there are proactive steps you can take to strengthen your relationship and encourage more frequent visits. Here’s how:

#1. Maintain Open Communication

Initiate conversations about your feelings in a non-confrontational manner. Sharing your emotions and concerns can help your sister understand the impact of her absence. For example, you could say, “I’ve been missing our time together and wanted to talk about how we can connect more often.”

#2. Express the Importance of Her Visit To You

Communicate how much her visits mean to you. Sharing specific memories and moments you cherish can create a deeper emotional connection and help her realize the significance of her presence. You might share, “Remember when we used to explore new places together? Those moments mean the world to me.”

#3. Understand Her Perspective

Listening actively to your sister’s perspective is crucial. Ask open-ended questions to gain insight into her reasons for infrequent visits. Avoid jumping to conclusions and aim to foster understanding and empathy. Inquire, “I’d love to understand your thoughts on why visits have been infrequent. Can you share your perspective?”

#4. Offer Solutions

Collaborate to find practical solutions to potential barriers. If financial constraints or time limitations are the issue, brainstorm together to find ways to overcome these obstacles. Working together can lead to mutually beneficial solutions. You could suggest, “What if we plan shorter, more frequent visits to make it easier on our schedules?”

#5. Plan Ahead

Planning visits in advance can provide both you and your sister with ample time to prepare. Setting tentative dates and coordinating schedules can increase the likelihood of visits. This approach also shows that you prioritize spending time together. Propose, “Let’s pick a few dates for the upcoming months so we can plan our visits ahead of time.”

#6. Visit Her

Taking the initiative to visit your sister can be a powerful way to show your commitment to the relationship. It also gives you the chance to experience her environment and daily life, which can foster deeper understanding. Share, “I’ve been thinking of visiting you soon. How does that sound?”

#7. Use Virtual Communication

Leverage technology to bridge the physical distance. Regular video calls, voice messages, and texts can help you maintain a connection even when you can’t meet in person. Virtual communication can also be less intimidating and more convenient. Say, “Let’s schedule a video call so we can catch up, even when we’re apart.”

#8. Suggest Shared Activities

During her visits, plan activities that you both enjoy. Whether it’s exploring a shared hobby or enjoying a favorite meal, these activities can create lasting memories and strengthen your bond. Suggest, “How about we spend a weekend hiking, just like we used to?”

#9. Create Invitations

Extend warm and heartfelt invitations for special occasions or casual get-togethers. Let her know that her presence is genuinely desired and that her visits are eagerly anticipated. Send a heartfelt message, “We’re having a small gathering next weekend, and I would love for you to join us.”

#10. Address Conflicts

If there are unresolved conflicts between you and your sister, address them in a constructive manner. Clear communication can lead to understanding and resolution, paving the way for a more harmonious relationship. Approach her, saying, “I think we should talk about what happened last time and find a way to resolve it.”

#11. Be Patient

Building or rebuilding a relationship takes time and effort. Be patient as you work towards more regular visits and a stronger bond. Understand that change may not happen overnight. Remind yourself, “This is a journey, and I’m committed to taking it one step at a time.”

#12. Respect Her Boundaries

Respect your sister’s need for personal space and boundaries. Pushing too hard for visits might create resistance and tension. Allow her to set the pace for rekindling the connection. Let her know, “I respect your space and will let you decide when you’re comfortable to reconnect.”

#13. Share Your Feelings

Openly express how her absence makes you feel, but avoid being accusatory. Use “I” statements to communicate your emotions, and encourage her to share her own feelings as well. Say, “I’ve been feeling a bit lonely without our regular visits. How have you been feeling about it?”

#14. Include Others (Common Friends & Family)

Involving mutual friends or other family members in your plans can make visits more enjoyable and comfortable for both of you. Shared experiences can create a more relaxed atmosphere. Propose, “Why don’t we invite [mutual friend’s name] when we meet up next time? It’ll be fun to catch up as a group.”

#15. Keep the Connection Alive

Between visits, send occasional messages, photos, or updates to keep the connection alive. This ongoing communication can help maintain a sense of closeness and familiarity. Share a photo or a message, “Thinking of you and wanted to share this funny memory from our last trip.”

#16. Seek Mediation

If the situation feels particularly challenging, consider involving a mediator. A neutral third party, such as a family member or therapist, can facilitate productive conversations and provide insights. Suggest, “Would you be open to having a family member mediate our conversation? I think it could help us find common ground.”

#17. Give Her Space

Respect her need for alone time and independence. Sometimes, creating space can lead to a stronger desire for connection, as she recognizes the value of the relationship. Let her know, “I understand that you need your space right now. Just know that I’m here whenever you’re ready to talk.”

#18. Celebrate Common Milestones

Celebrate important milestones together, even if it means doing so virtually. Sharing these moments can create a sense of togetherness and reinforce the bond you share. Plan a virtual celebration, saying, “Let’s set up a video call to celebrate [milestone/event]. It’ll be like we’re together.”

#19. Send Reminders

Gently remind your sister of the value you place on her visits. A simple reminder can reignite the intention to spend time together and foster a sense of anticipation. Drop her a message, “Remember how much fun we had during our last visit? Can’t wait to create more memories like that.”

#20. Stay Positive

Approach the situation with optimism and positivity. Your positive attitude can influence the dynamics of the relationship and encourage a more frequent presence. Be a source of encouragement and warmth as you work towards nurturing your bond. Share your optimism, “I’m looking forward to the times ahead when we can spend more time together and strengthen our relationship.”

Navigating the challenge of a sister who rarely visits requires patience, empathy, and proactive effort. By understanding the potential reasons behind her absence and implementing thoughtful strategies, you can cultivate a deeper connection that stands the test of time. Remember that relationships evolve, and your commitment to strengthening the bond can lead to more fulfilling interactions with your sister.

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• Children and Divorce
• Child Visitation

What to Do If Your Child Refuses Visitation or Doesn’t Want to See Their Other Parent

By Danielle Kestnbaum, JD, MSW  

Sometimes, a child refuses visitation or doesn’t want to go to their other parent’s house. That creates a complicated co-parenting situation. The child’s best interest matters, of course—but their preference isn't the determining factor in establishing a parenting plan.

Your child’s feelings are most often out of your control. And if your child refuses to spend time with the other parent, it will likely impact your whole family.  

Reasons why a child might refuse visitation or parenting time 

Every situation is different, based on your family dynamics. But here are four of the common reasons children refuse visitation, according to  Laurie P. Reed, LCSW .

• Justified rejection: If there’s a history of poor parenting or even abuse of the child, or there has been domestic violence on the part of one parent, a child may reasonably resist spending time with that parent.
• Unjustified rejection: If one parent’s disdain for the other parent has strongly and negatively influenced the child, a previously positive parent-child relationship can be harmed and become estranged. 
• A poor fit: Sometimes the homes, parent personalities and/or parenting styles are very different, and a child may find a much easier “fit” with one parent over the other. 
• The chameleon child: Some children will shrink back from transitions in both directions because they want to make the current parent happy.

It can be trickier than you’d think to tease out which of these scenarios is at play.

Reason #1: Justified rejection

If a parent has been abusive or frightening due to poor anger management skills and/or substance use problems, the child may reasonably want to avoid visitation. Refusing visitation can be considered justified when the problems in this parent’s behavior have been documented and corroborated—there’s a history of unhealthy interactions, not just one parent’s story against another’s. 

In cases of justified rejection, Laurie explains, the child’s complaints tend to be clear and specific. They can state what happened in different upsetting situations, in reasonably concrete and consistent terms, to show why they fear or don’t trust that parent. 

Of course, even when a visitation rejection is seemingly justified, that doesn’t automatically cancel the rejected parent’s visitation or parenting time. You may have to go through an involved process to change the parenting plan or may need to work with your co-parent to put in agreeable safeguards or accommodations. 

However, if you are truly concerned about potential child endangerment, consult your attorney or other legal and mental health professionals right away.

Reason #2: Unjustified rejection

Sometimes, a child will echo one parent’s opinions or feed off their emotions, which are often based on a “bad” history and ongoing conflict between the parents. When the child’s feelings are unduly influenced by a favored parent, this type of alignment can make it very difficult for a child to transition to the rejected parent’s house. 

In this scenario, Laurie explains, the child’s complaints are usually vague. “I’m afraid of my mom because she is so mean.” If you ask for examples of situations in which mom has acted in mean ways, there is often just a repeat of, “She’s just mean. She’s just mean all the time.” The answer is squishy. It’s hard to nail it down. 

Reason #3: A poor fit between parent and child

For example, maybe a child is very introverted and calm and likes to sit quietly and read—but one parent is athletic and enthused about all things outdoors. Neither is “right” or “wrong,” it’s just a bit of a mismatch of interests and personality. If the other parent is similar to the child in interests or personality type, that can create friction with the dissimilar parent, says Laurie.

Sometimes the two homes just run very differently , and if one way feels more comfortable for the child, the stark contrast can very challenging. 

A similar difficult dynamic can occur when a child doesn’t click with the parent’s new partner. Suddenly, what used to be a comfortable home situation now feels unusual and uncomfortable.

Reason #4: The chameleon child

Sometimes, a child will notice that both parents appreciate negative commentary about the other parent. Mom perks up when the child says, “Mom, it’s so boring at Dad’s.” Or Dad is intrigued when the child says, “Dad, Mom is always on the go, and I get so tired with her.” So the child says these things leading up to changeovers in both directions, and they might refuse visitation with either parent.

Whatever the reason for the resistance, if a parent is not genuinely concerned about the child’s fundamental safety, the child should attend visitations, or spend the regular number of days at the co-parent’s house. If you are not sure what constitutes a true safety concern, you should consult your attorney and/or an involved mental health professional. Missing out on parenting time by refusing visitation could put your family in a tough legal position.  

Refusing visitation or parenting time can cause legal trouble

As a co-parent, you are responsible for making sure your child sees their other parent or switches to their other home according to the parenting agreement in place or the controlling Court Order—even if your child really doesn’t want to.

Family law courts want to see co-parents encouraging their child to spend time with their other parent. If visitation actually doesn't happen, or if the child doesn't follow the parenting time schedule, that reflects on you - even if you tried your best. Courts tend to frown on co-parents if it looks like they're preventing visitation or hindering parenting time. 

If you have a legal order or legally binding parenting agreement, then visitation and parenting time are legal rights. When those rights are blocked, the other parent could file a breach of contract action or an  Order to Show Cause . An Order to Show Cause would call for a “show cause hearing.” That means the court will ask the parent who is not complying with the Order to explain (or show the cause of) why they aren't complying with the visitation agreement.

It can be difficult to convince the judge that the child is actively refusing visitation or parenting time. It honestly might be easier to persuade your child to cooperate, so I’ll share some strategies below.   

At what age can a child refuse visitation or parenting time?

When a young child refuses visitation, you don’t have many legal options. But when a teenager refuses visitation, courts may pay more attention.

In most states, even teenagers are not allowed to refuse visitation until they turn 18. Teenagers often try to call the shots, and that’s developmentally healthy. But legally speaking, this isn't necessarily one of the shots they get to call.

Still, that’s not the full story. It varies from state to state, but in practice,  many judges will consider a teen’s opinion . Or even the opinion of an older child, if they’re articulate and thoughtful. 

Meanwhile, until you get the parenting time agreement or Order changed, your child or teen still has to spend the normal amount of time with their other parent.  

What to do when your child is refusing to visit the other parent

If your child refuses to spend time with their other parent, it's your responsibility to manage the situation. It's a tough role - you're not causing the problem, but it's still up to you to fix it. You have to convince a stubborn, emotional child to spend time with someone you might strongly dislike. (And that might be understating it.) 

It might be tempting to feel glad or justified. But this situation isn't good for your child. It's stressful, and in rare instances, it actually puts them in danger of spending more time with their other parent. If a judge doesn't see things your way, they might shift custody in the other direction. 

So here are a few tried-and-true ways you can cover yourself legally and encourage your child to see their other parent. 

Get your child into therapy

It’s very important to find a therapist who has experience with high-conflict divorce dynamics, Laurie recommends. (Check their websites, reviews, and bios on professional sites like  Psychology Today .) 

The therapist should insist on seeing both parents first, often done in separate parent meetings. If the therapist hears only one parent’s story, they will be biased. 

If at all possible, parents should take turns bringing the child to therapy. With a chameleon child, the therapist can notice and point out, “When your Mom brings you to therapy, I hear a lot of negative things about your Dad. But when your Dad brings you, I hear negative things about your Mom.” The therapist can even observe interactions in the waiting room and get a clearer picture of the parent-child dynamics. 

Notify and involve the other parent

If your child refuses visitation, notify your co-parent as soon as possible. Use a method of communication that can document the incident and can prove when you told your co-parent.

In the OurFamilyWizard app,  the Messages feature records timestamps when a message is sent and when it's first seen. Messages are permanent—you can't edit or delete them. 

In the Journal feature, you can create an entry to document any changes to the regular parenting schedule. Explain the incident and describe the change in plans. You can keep the entry private for your own records. Or you can share it with your co-parent, your attorney, or anyone else working with you on OurFamilyWizard.

If at all possible, try to have a real conversation with your co-parent about what’s going on. For example, maybe a teenager doesn’t want to switch houses right now because it’s finals week and they have too much going on. You can try saying, “I know things will get back to normal in the long run, but understanding the stress she’s under right now will go a long way towards her wanting to spend time with you.”

Of course, that’s not always effective. When there’s deep distrust between parents, everything you say may be automatically suspected (“You’re just trying to keep her from me”). But it’s worth a try, and if it’s on the record, the record will show that you tried. 

You can also encourage your co-parent to reach out to your child through  phone calls or video calls—it’s a way to connect with your child in a low-stress environment.

Notify your attorney

If your child actually misses a visitation or scheduled parenting time, there could be legal consequences. Ask your attorney how you should handle it - it's different in different states and different situations.

Encourage your child to see their other parent

When your child refuses to visit or stay with their other parent, it puts you in a tough position. How you handle it as a family can speak volumes.

Remember your role as a parent

Keep in mind that you are the one making the decision, not your child. Of course, this is a particularly emotional situation, and feelings of guilt could be influencing your decisions. But that doesn't reduce your responsibility towards your Court Order or parenting agreement.

Thoughtfully consider your child's opinions, but remind your child or teen that both you and your co-parent love them, and it's vital to spend time with each of you.

Check your own behavior and make sure you’re not influencing your child to not want to see their other parent.  Badmouthing your co-parent  in front of your child or interrogating your child about the visitation once they get home could shape your child's perspective.

Talk to your child about why they don't want to go—and validate their feelings

Try to get to the bottom of why your child doesn't want to spend time or stay with your co-parent. Let your child express their feelings to you without judgment.

When it's your turn to respond, do so with kindness and understanding. Validate their feelings (without agreeing to do things their way):

“I know the back and forth can get really hard, can’t it?” 

“I know you really wanted to have a play date here tomorrow.” 

“I know you have a ton of homework and not a lot of time for moving houses.”

There’s a natural reluctance to shift where we are, Laurie says. Parents often don’t fully appreciate how hard it is to go back and forth and schlep all your stuff every week or every few days. “I hate the hassle and I just don’t want to go” is a pretty reasonable reaction—but they still have to go.

 Sometimes, in these conversations, new and concerning information comes out. If it does, call your attorney, but it can also help if you loop in your co-parent and address it calmly. “Yikes, this issue has come up, and our kid is really worried about it. Can you do anything to address it, or can we press pause on the parenting time schedule while we talk about it?” 

But if it’s not an issue of extreme distress or danger, the best you can do is listen calmly and respond with empathy.

“I’m sorry that we’ve created this situation where you have two homes. I get it that the burden of going back and forth is on you. At the same time, sweetheart, this is the deal. It’s hard, but your Dad/Mom and I have agreed that we want to share you. It’s a lucky thing that you have two parents who love you!”

If you absolutely can’t move the needle and you have to notify your co-parent that your child isn’t coming, you can say, “Our daughter just needs more time, and trust me, we’ll be working on it.”

Model confidence for your child 

Your child can borrow from your own confidence in their ability to cope, Laurie says. Try responding like this: “I get it, I’m sorry about how things are, AND I know that almost always, once you’ve gotten settled in, you find your groove! Plus, your Mom/Dad said that this week, you’re going to go to the zoo and have a soccer game against the Grizzlies.” Be realistic about your child’s feelings, but also uplift the situation in a matter-of-fact way. “Your ability to cope with challenge is amazing, and I see it growing all the time.”

Make parenting time transitions as smooth as possible

Transitions are tough, but there are practical ways to make it easier . Before your child leaves to visit or stay with your co-parent, make sure they have everything they need packed and ready to go. Especially for young children through the pre-teen years, you can pack for them to minimize their stress, pressure, and effort. 

Keep the conversation positive when you and your child speak about these visits. No matter how negatively you feel about your co-parent, don’t let that seep through. Help your child look forward to their other parent’s parenting time instead of dreading it.

During transition times,  stay cool and calm around your co-parent . Let your child know that you will miss them, but you want them to spend this time with their other parent. Keep transitions short, sweet, and reassuring.

What to do if your child refuses visitation with you

Although it may be hard to believe, this situation presents as much of an opportunity as a problem, Laurie says. Maybe your co-parent was the more emotionally connected one because you worked more hours while they took care of things at home—and now it’s your chance to connect with your child on your own.

Whatever your previous situation was, you now have to do 100% of the practical care and emotional nurturing during your parenting time. That gives you a very real opportunity to step up and expand your parenting skill set.

Meanwhile, try not to take it personally. It’s such a complex issue, and it’s not automatically “your fault.” Instead of focusing on blame, focus on solutions.

Try to be a good listener, Laurie recommends. Acknowledge the difficulty of going back and forth and show empathy. Talk with your child to find out if you can make any adjustments to your lifestyle or activities to make spending time with you more comfortable. You might even hold your nose and see if you can learn from your co-parent, who might better understand your child emotionally. 

Last, I strongly recommend getting a child therapist involved. It’s not about establishing good parent v. bad parent; it’s about connecting or re-connecting with your child. A good therapist can help you get to the root of the lack of connection and then help you rebuild that connection until your relationship blossoms.  

Children of divorce thrive when they have relationships with both parents

Children of divorce do best when they have substantial relationships with both parents. That doesn’t mean the child must have equal affection for both parents, or identify with each parent equally, but it does mean they are supported in maintaining relationships with both sides of the family. 

It may take time to change your child's perspective, but—if there’s no abuse or neglect—it’s crucial to keep working at it. Meanwhile, insist that the parenting time schedule is non-negotiable. Your child needs time with both parents.  

NOTE:  Many state and federal laws use terms like ‘custody’ when referring to arrangements regarding parenting time and decision-making for a child. While this has been the case for many years, these are not the only terms currently used to refer to these topics.

Today, many family law practitioners and even laws within certain states use terms such as ‘parenting arrangements’ or ‘parenting responsibility,’ among others, when referring to matters surrounding legal and physical child custody. You will find these terms as well as custody used on the OurFamilyWizard website.

Author's Bio:

Danielle earned her law degree with honors from IIT/Chicago-Kent College of Law in Chicago, Illinois. Prior to graduating from law school, she received her Masters degree in Social Work from Columbia University in New York City and a BA from Brandeis University in Waltham, Massachusetts.

Danielle externed with the Chief Judge of the Domestic Relations Court for the Circuit Court of Cook County during law school. She has worked in the public sector as a child’s advocate and also in the private sector representing parents in a broad range of family law matters.

She currently works as a professional liaison for the OurFamilyWizard website and serves as the Vice President of the North Carolina Chapter of the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts.

Blog Categories

• Blended Families
• Co-Parenting on OFW
• Emotional and Mental Health
• Fundamentals of Co-Parenting
• Overcoming Conflict
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Verb Conjugation Tool

With our tool you will be able to conjugate english verbs you have only to type an english verb and you will automatically get the conjugation tables of all his tenses. Todos los tiempos Present simple Present continuous Past simple Past continuous Future simple Present perfect simple Present perfect continuous Past perfect simple Past perfect continuous Future perfect Conditional Conditional perfect Contract form Conjugate

Conjugation of verb "To visit" Present Simple Affirmative I visit. You visit. We visit. He/She/It visits. You visit. They visit. Negative I do not visit. You do not visit. We do not visit. He/She/It does not visit. You do not visit. They do not visit. Interrogative Do I visit? Do you visit? Do we visit? Does he/she/it visit? Do you visit? Do they visit? Go to the related lesson Present Simple Continuous Affirmative I am visiting. You are visiting. We are visiting. He/She/It is visiting. You are visiting. They are visiting. Negative I am not visiting. You are not visiting. We are not visiting. He/She/It is not visiting. You are not visiting. They are not visiting. Interrogative Am I visiting? Are you visiting? Are we visiting? Is he/she/it visiting? Are you visiting? Are they visiting? Go to the related lesson Past Simple Affirmative I visited. You visited. We visited. He/She/It visited. You visited. They visited. Negative I did not visit. You did not visit. We did not visit. He/She/It did not visit. You did not visit. They did not visit. Interrogative Did I visit? Did you visit? Did we visit? Did he/she/it visit? Did you visit? Did they visit? Go to the related lesson Past Continuous Affirmative I was visiting. You were visiting. We were visiting. He/She/It was visiting. You were visiting. They were visiting. Negative I was not visiting. You were not visiting. We were not visiting. He/She/It was not visiting. You were not visiting. They were not visiting. Interrogative Was I visiting? Were you visiting? Were we visiting? Was he/she/it visiting? Were you visiting? Were they visiting? Go to the related lesson Future Simple Affirmative I will visit. You will visit. We will visit. He/She/It will visit. You will visit. They will visit. Negative I will not visit. You will not visit. We will not visit. He/She/It will not visit. You will not visit. They will not visit. Interrogative Will I visit? Will you visit? Will we visit? Will he/she/it visit? Will you visit? Will they visit? Go to the related lesson Present Perfect Simple Affirmative I have visited. You have visited. We have visited. He/She/It has visited. You have visited. They have visited. Negative I have not visited. You have not visited. We have not visited. He/She/It has not visited. You have not visited. They have not visited. Interrogative Have I visited? Have you visited? Have we visited? Has he/she/it visited? Have you visited? Have they visited? Go to the related lesson Present Perfect Continuous Affirmative I have been visiting. You have been visiting. We have been visiting. He/She/It has been visiting. You have been visiting. They have been visiting. Negative I have not been visiting. You have not been visiting. We have not been visiting. He/She/It has not been visiting. You have not been visiting. They have not been visiting. Interrogative Have I been visiting? Have you been visiting? Have we been visiting? Has he/she/it been visiting? Have you been visiting? Have they been visiting? Go to the related lesson Past Perfect Simple Affirmative I had visited. You had visited. We had visited. He/She/It had visited. You had visited. They had visited. Negative I had not visited. You had not visited. We had not visited. He/She/It had not visited. You had not visited. They had not visited. Interrogative Had I visited? Had you visited? Had we visited? Had he/she/it visited? Had you visited? Had they visited? Go to the related lesson Past Perfect Continuous Affirmative I had been visiting. You had been visiting. We had been visiting. He/She/It had been visiting. You had been visiting. They had been visiting. Negative I had not been visiting. You had not been visiting. We had not been visiting. He/She/It had not been visiting. You had not been visiting. They had not been visiting. Interrogative Had I been visiting? Had you been visiting? Had we been visiting? Had he/she/it been visiting? Had you been visiting? Had they been visiting? Go to the related lesson Future Perfect Affirmative I will have visited. You will have visited. We will have visited. He/She/It will have visited. You will have visited. They will have visited. Negative I will not have visited. You will not have visited. We will not have visited. He/She/It will not have visited. You will not have visited. They will not have visited. Interrogative Will I have visited? Will you have visited? Will we have visited? Will he/she/it have visited? Will you have visited? Will they have visited? Go to the related lesson Conditional Affirmative I would visit. You would visit. We would visit. He/She/It would visit. You would visit. They would visit. Negative I would not visit. You would not visit. We would not visit. He/She/It would not visit. You would not visit. They would not visit. Interrogative Would I visit? Would you visit? Would we visit? Would he/she/it visit? Would you visit? Would they visit? Go to the related lesson Conditional Perfect Affirmative I would have visited. You would have visited. We would have visited. He/She/It would have visited. You would have visited. They would have visited. Negative I would not have visited. You would not have visited. We would not have visited. He/She/It would not have visited. You would not have visited. They would not have visited. Interrogative Would I have visited? Would you have visited? Would we have visited? Would he/she/it have visited? Would you have visited? Would they have visited? Go to the related lesson

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Past Simple vs Past Continuous. 'Yesterday she didn't visit her friends as she... (...)'

• Thread starter Franciszek Kolpanowicz
• Start date Feb 2, 2021

Franciszek Kolpanowicz

Senior member.

• Feb 2, 2021

Complete the sentence with appropriate past forms of the verbs in brackets. Yesterday she _____ (not visit) her friends as she ______ (feel) dizzy. Click to expand...

Both "felt dizzy" and "was feeling dizzy" are fine.  

Wordy McWordface

'Feeling dizzy' would certainly be correct. In fact, 'feeling dizzy' is arguably a better key than 'felt dizzy'.  

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i did not visit vs i did not visited

Last updated: March 08, 2024

i did not visit

This phrase is correct and commonly used in English.

• I did not visit the museum yesterday.
• She did not visit her parents last weekend.
• We did not visit the park on Monday.
• They did not visit the new restaurant last night.
• He did not visit his friend in the hospital.

Alternatives:

• I didn't visit
• I never visited
• I haven't visited
• I hadn't visited
• I wasn't visiting

i did not visited

This phrase is incorrect in English. The verb "visited" is in the wrong form after the auxiliary verb "did."

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She has not visit vs She has not visited

Check any text for mistakes in above text box. Grammar Check your text.

Looking on the internet deeply has found these results:

She has not visit  is the most popular phrase on the web. 

Related Comparison

• She dies not yet come or She has not come?
• she did not attend or she has not attended?
• He has not realised or He has not realise?
• He has never won or He never won?
• he has come or he has not came?
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To Visit or Not to Visit, That is the Question

Sometimes sick folks just want to be left alone.

Posted February 25, 2013

There are lots of reasons to visit a sick friend, most of which are pretty obvious. We visit to show our love and concern, to provide care, support and comfort, and to offer help when needed. Less obvious and rarely discussed among friends are the reasons not to visit.

Old-fashioned illness etiquette decrees that well-bred people are expected to visit their ailing friends. But rather than assume that your presence at the sickbed is welcome, I recommend that you first have an honest conversation with the patient to find out if she or he wants to be visited.

Ask them to be candid about their druthers: are they really in the mood for company or would they prefer to be left alone? Give them space to admit that they’re feeling grungy and anti-social, in pain or exhausted. Reassure them that you very much want to see them and you’re eager to be helpful in any way possible -- but you won’t be insulted if they would just as soon spend the evening watching an old movie and eating ice cream in bed.

Although “just show up” is often touted as the gold standard of friendship behaviors, my research and interviews lead me to believe that it’s better to ask first and give your sick friends permission to tell you what they really want. Otherwise, each of you will be going through the motions and doing what you think you’re supposed to do rather than what will actually make the patient feel better.

If your sick friends are gravely ill and unable to communicate their wishes, contact one of their relatives or caregivers and tell them that you’d like to visit but you want to make sure now is a convenient time. You might also ask for their guidance on how you can best be useful to the patient or family. Say you’d be glad to sit with the patient, to bring or do whatever is needed -- and make clear you mean it. But don’t just land on their doorstep and impose yourself on the family during a difficult time.

Finally, do not visit a sick friend if:

• You have the flu or anything else contagious
• The patient has the flu or anything else contagious
• You’re feeling grumpy or surly and can’t snap out of it
• You had a garlic pizza for lunch

Here's to good health and great friendship!

Letty Cottin Pogrebin , a founding editor of Ms. magazine and past president of The Authors Guild, is an award-winning journalist, speaker, activist, and author of ten books.

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Do’s and Don’ts for Visiting Someone with Dementia

People with dementia can still enjoy having visitors

Older adults with Alzheimer’s disease or dementia may still enjoy having visitors.

To help everyone have a positive experience when visiting someone with Alzheimer’s or dementia, a little advance preparation goes a long way.

You can set visitors up for success by sharing some do’s and don’ts ahead of time and create a calm environment so your older adult can focus better.

Having a great visit and understanding more about dementia might even encourage family and friends to visit more often.

4 tips for planning visits strategically

• Limit visitors to 1 or 2 people at a time. Too many people can be overwhelming.
• Schedule visits for the time of day when your older adult is usually at their best.
• Minimize distractions by keeping the environment calm and quiet . Turn off the TV or loud music and ask any non-visitors to go to another room.
• Send the do’s and don’ts list to your visitors ahead of time so they’ll have time to absorb the information.

21 essential do’s and don’ts for visiting someone with Alzheimer’s

• Keep your tone and body language  friendly and positive.
• Don’t speak too loudly.
• Make eye contact and stay at their eye level.
• Introduce yourself even if you’re sure they must know you. “Hi Grandma, I’m Joe, your grandson.”
• Speak slowly and in short sentences with only one idea per sentence. For example: “Hi Mary. I’m Jane, your friend.” or “What a beautiful day. The sunshine is nice, isn’t it?” or “Tell me about your daughter.”
• Give them extra time to speak or answer questions, don’t rush the conversation.
• Use open-ended questions so there will be no right or wrong answers.
• Be ok with sitting together in silence. They may enjoy that just as much as talking.
• Follow their lead, don’t force conversation topics or activities.
• Validate their feelings. Allow them to express sadness, fear, or anger.
• Enter their reality . Go with the flow of the conversation even if they talk about things that aren’t true or don’t make sense.
• Share and discuss memories of the past. They’re more likely to remember things from long ago.
• Come prepared with an activity, like something to read out loud, a photo album to look at, or some of their favorite music to listen to.
• Give hugs, gentle touches, or massage arms or shoulders if the person gives permission and enjoys it.
• Say “do you remember?” This can cause anger or embarrassment.
• Argue. If they say something that’s not correct, just let it go .
• Point out mistakes. It just makes them feel badly and doesn’t help the conversation.
• Assume they don’t remember anything. Many people have moments of clarity.
• Take mean or nasty things they say personally. The disease may twist their words or make them react badly out of confusion, frustration, fear, or anger.
• Talk down to them. They aren’t children and you should show the proper respect.
• Talk about them with other people as if they’re not there.

Recommended for you:

• 15 Insightful Dementia Communication Tips
• Answer 3 Tough Questions from Seniors with Alzheimer’s
• Best Way to Make Video Calls to Seniors with Alzheimer’s or Dementia in Nursing Homes

By DailyCaring Editorial Team

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Dementia and Mirrors: 10 Solutions for Challenging Behavior

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My 93 yr old mother is in a memory care nursing home. She has been there 3 months and still is confused about where she is and why she is not at home. When I visit (once or twice a week) she cries when I leave and begs me not to. Would it help her if I just go for shorter visits daily at the same time?

DailyCaring

That’s a great thing to try. It often takes some experimenting to find something that will work and help her feel more calm at the end of your visits. If her dementia is advanced enough that her short-term memory has declined significantly, you could try something like telling her you’re going to the restroom (instead of saying you’re leaving) and then she won’t remember that you didn’t come back.

You could also try giving her a stuffed animal (maybe one that reminds her of a former pet?) or a baby doll to help provide comfort. We’ve got more info here – https://dailycaring.com/the-positive-effect-of-therapy-dolls-for-dementia/

my friend is in an assisted living facility, and wants to come to our house to play cards one night her POA does not think that is a good idea.

It’s great that you want to keep playing cards with your friend. There might be a good reason why her POA doesn’t think it’s a good idea. Maybe you could visit her in the assisted living community and play cards there.

Mary njoroge

dimentia victims,are all about,care , loving n passion,it’s a stage where every patient need that feeling of love,and care from those around him or her

Absolutely! 💜

Anna Marie Tice

my close friend has dementia. She is now at a facility that takes care of her. I visit with her at least once a week.

It’s wonderful that she’s well cared for and that you’re able to visit so often 💜

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Is it wrong to not see a person dying, but wanting to remember them as they were?

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How did Raygun qualify for the Olympics? Is she really the best Australia has to offer?

Since Australian breaker Rachael "Raygun" Gunn failed to score a single point in any of her Olympic bouts, many have asked how she qualified for the Games.

Fellow breaker and anthropologist Lucas Marie says she won her qualification "fair and square" last year, but African American man Malik Dixon has criticised the Olympic body for letting her in.

What's next?

Breaking will not be an event at the 2028 Los Angeles Olympic Games — a decision made before Raygun's performance.

The 2024 Paris Olympics marked breaking's debut as a sport at the global event, with 36-year-old lecturer and breaker Rachael "Raygun" Gunn representing Australia for the first time.

Having failed to win a single point in any of her Olympic bouts, Raygun quickly became a viral sensation.

The question on many people's minds now is: How did she even qualify?

Lucas Marie is a breaker who has competed, performed, taught and judged breaking competitions over the past 25 years. He's also an anthropologist who recently co-authored an article with Gunn.

He says the answer to that question is simple.

"There was an Oceania qualifier in which any B-boy or B-girl from Australia [or] New Zealand could enter, and that was in Sydney in October 2023," he told ABC News.

"And leading up to that, there were a lot of other events in which breakers were competing.

"She won those battles fair and square and won the qualification in Sydney.

"And it wasn't really a surprise to anyone. 

"She's been fairly consistent, winning or coming second or third at a lot of breaking events in Australia for the last five to 10 years."

Marie said there was nothing out of the ordinary about Raygun's performance.

"It's not like gymnastics where there's this kind of agreed-upon standard," he said.

"It's always had a rawness to it. It's always had an improvisational kind of quality. And I think looking different and trying different stuff has always been celebrated.

"And I think Raygun, in a way, was just expressing a core kind of hip hop trait in a way a lot of breakers do."

He described her efforts as bold.

"I thought — and this is how I judge a lot of breaking events — I thought, 'Oh, she's making some really interesting choices to mimic Australian animals.' And you can kind of see the choices that she's making in the moment."

Is she the best Australia has to offer?

Team Australia chef de mission Anna Meares insisted after Raygun's performance that she was the best breaker the country had to offer. But is this true?

"It's sometimes just who's performing better on the day," Marie said.

"And at the qualification event in which she won, and other events in which she's won, she performed better on that day and won the ticket.

"That doesn't mean she's the best. It doesn't really work like that.

"I think she's a great breaker. She won the qualification. She's won other events in the past, and she was a good representative for Australia at that competition."

Asked whether there were B-girls in Perth, regional Victoria or rural Brisbane who might have qualified but could not afford to travel to Sydney for the tryouts, Marie agreed this was possible.

"Of course, there's breakers all over the country that maybe should have been in that event, but they weren't."

Breaking will not carry over to the 2028 Olympics in Los Angeles, a decision made before Raygun's battle.

Marie described this as sad.

"Maybe, based on the ratings, they'll reassess that and maybe allocate some medals to breaking," he said.

"I really hope that's the case, and I hope that for other breakers who want to compete in it as a dance sport."

Marie said that at the end of the day people should remember they were dealing with a human.

"As a friend of Rachael's, there's a human being who's getting a lot of negative attention," he said.

"I think people kind of miss that sometimes and forget the human aspect of all this."

'Toying with the culture'

Malik Dixon is an African American who has been living in Australia for more than a decade and is a Sydney University graduate.

He said Raygun made a total "mockery" out of breaking at the Olympics.

"She was dressed like a member of the cricket team or an Australian PE teacher, and from that point it just seemed like satire," Mr Dixon told ABC News.

"It just looked like somebody who was toying with the culture and didn't know how culturally significant it was being the first time in the Olympics and just how important it was to people who really cherish hip hop and one of the elements of hip hop, which is breakdancing.

"It made me think, was Borat her breakdancing coach?"

Mr Dixon said too many people felt entitled to African American culture.

"The African American space has been one where we've shared our community so much and without any restraints, any barriers, roadblocks, obstacles, any gatekeepers, that essentially what should have been African American cultural capital is just shared, which is cool," he said. 

"We like to share, right? 

"We shared 400 years of free labour.

"To see Rachael in her attempt to be a part of the culture just be grossly underwhelming made it seem like she didn't take it seriously."

Olympics body criticised for Raygun qualification

Mr Dixon criticised the body that qualified Raygun, saying she devalued breaking with her performance.

"Whatever governing body nominated her as Australia's entrant into the Olympics either did not understand the assignment or didn't really believe in the integrity or significance of breakdancing, because if they did they would just say, rather than disrespect the culture, we're just not ready to send an applicant this year."

He said Raygun was extremely audacious and not self-aware.

"You've got to know your role, know your position, know your limitation," he said. 

"And I think that part of privilege is saying that there are no limits to what I can do. 

"Part of privilege is having the authority to say that there are no limits and there are no requirements, there are no prerequisites to what I can do."

Raygun's degrees do not hold much water with Mr Dixon.

"Due to consumerism, this Foundational Black American product, which is hip hop, is global," he said.

"And even people who have no connection to any African Americans or any local or regional things that come out in these songs, they have become a part of the whole experience now.

"If I came in and said that I was an authority on Greek music and I was going against the grain of what the mainstream Greek musicians thought, or the school of thought, and I've said that I was the authority, people would check me on that.

"If I had a PhD in sprinting, does that qualify me to go against Noah Lyles? No, it doesn't."

He also doubts Raygun was the best breaker Australia had to offer.

"[There's] got to be somebody out here that's better than that! The kangaroo! The sprinkler! She did the sprinkler out there, man!" he said.

Should everybody just lighten up?

Should we lighten up? Mr Dixon does not believe so.

"Larrikinism is used as a get-out-of-jail-free card and to escape responsibility of how words or actions impact a hurt person," he said.

"But when the majority culture is offended, there's no playing around.

"This is a part of my culture, and I don't think Australians are in a place to tell me how I should feel about breakdancing being mocked on an international stage.

"People who don't have any or limited access to black people or hip hop culture now may see Rachael and her buffoonery as a representation of hip hop and black culture.

"People who were already side-eyeing breakdancing as an Olympic sport, Rachael Gunn has put the nail in that coffin.

"This might be the most viral clip of the whole Olympics. From a comedy standpoint, she's got it, but from an Olympics perspective, its regressive."

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Her Boyfriend Surprised Her With A Visit Even Though She Told Him Not To. Now She Wants Him To Leave The Next Morning.

I know people like to be romantic and spontaneous, but if someone you’re dating tells you they’re too busy to see you, TAKE A HINT AND LEAVE THEM ALONE.

Well, that’s what I’d do…

But this guy took another route, and it didn’t go well.

Check out the story below and see what you think.

AITA for Wanting My Boyfriend to Leave after His Surprise Visit? “My boyfriend and I both live in different EU countries. However, he just visited yesterday at around 8:30 pm without telling me he would do so beforehand. He has asked me whether I would be fine with him doing surprise visits, and while I generally am not against them, I made it clear to him multiple times already that he should not do them until July.

She has her reasons.

Just for context; he visited me in my dorm room. I am a medical student and have an important upcoming exam I need to study for.

And this guy isn’t getting the picture.

I really do enjoy his company and he even brought me an expensive gift, but I cannot help but feel not listened to in the sense that i clearly did tell him i needed space and time to study for my exam over the next 2 weeks. AITA for wanting him to leave tomorrow morning without having spent much time together at all?”

And this is how Reddit users reacted.

This person said she’s NTA.

Another individual spoke up.

This person chimed in.

Another Reddit user had a lot to say.

And this person also said she’s NTA.

Dude…take a hint!

Now that you’ve read that story, check out this one about a delivery driver who took a $400 grocery order back because she wasn’t given a tip.

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